Navigating the Chapters of Challenge with Tele

Transforming Challenges into Opportunities with Eme Bassey

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Eme Bassey's journey from author to email strategist is one of creativity and resilience, and listeners won't want to miss her insights on standing out in a crowded inbox. With books like "Talk to the Shoe," later known as "The Pursuit," Eme shares how storytelling isn't just for novels but also a powerful tool in email marketing. Throughout our conversation, she reveals how personal stories can forge genuine connections, offering a unique look at self-development and persistence.

Taking a reflective turn, the episode delves into the rollercoaster of young adulthood and the revelations brought by unexpected parenthood. Personal anecdotes bring to life the joys and challenges of welcoming children while navigating personal growth and spiritual awakenings. From amicable co-parenting to watching her children embrace their creative careers, this narrative is a testament to adaptability and how life's unexpected turns shape our paths.

We continue with a candid discussion on embracing new beginnings, even when life throws curveballs. From a medical career to photography and digital marketing, the journey highlights the entrepreneurial spirit and the courage to start anew. Personal stories of career transitions and choosing stability over entrepreneurship illustrate the importance of resilience. The episode concludes with a thoughtful reflection on facing crossroads with a sense of opportunity and optimism, encouraging listeners to see change as a gateway to new adventures.

Eme Bassey is an Email Marketing Specialist who transforms purpose-driven brands through the power of storytelling. Through her signature story-driven approach, she's helped countless businesses sell out events, build authentic customer relationships, and create compelling email courses that convert. When she's not crafting converting emails for clients, she's mentoring the next generation of email copywriters to build thriving careers in digital marketing.
For Free Resources and Workshops: www.emailwriterslab.com
To contact Eme directly: stories@emebassey.com

You can check out EME'S books here

The Vivid Story Method: Stop Writing Boring Emails: Create Stories That Stand Out, Win Hearts and Open Wallets


The Pursuit: Get started. Keep Going, Be Unique, Be Unstoppable.

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to Navigating the Chapters of Challenge with Tele. Today, I've got my friend Eme Bassey in the house and we're going to have a really interesting conversation. Before I ask Eme to introduce herself, I just wanted to say that Eme is the author of several books. I'm going to read the names of all her books. God, I have the names somewhere now. Okay, Eme, tell us the names of all your books and introduce yourself, because I can't find where I wrote the names.

Speaker 2:

I wrote a book. I called it Talk to the Shoe, okay yes.

Speaker 2:

And that was in 2006, but then I forgot about the book. Then I republished it in 2015, like nine years later, um, as the pursuit. And then after that, I wrote a book when I was a cake decorating tutor called 30 Ways to sell your cakes, and then another one which just came out last month ,it's called The vivid story method, so it's how to write exceptional emails and then, using storytelling tactics, yeah, and I like the title of the book the pursuit.

Speaker 1:

I have it, I found it now. It says the Pursuit Get Started, keep Going, be Unique, be Unstoppable. That is absolutely an amazing title. I wish that was my book. I wish I could steal that title from you. What inspired that title?

Speaker 2:

I think it's. Yeah, I think I felt I was self-development, kind of personal development, encouragement generally, you know so. So they were often things that I'll write in my journal or notes that I write to myself, you know. And then things I was learning, talked about different things find your voice, talk about creativity, talk about and you know, things that trip us up procrastination. You know how to eat an elephant one step at a time, how to forget about the past, and basically all those things that keep going and keep us going. You know.

Speaker 2:

But it was also based on a conversation that I was having with my shoes, so my shoes were, or my trainers were, kind of like giving me words of advice, words of advice and encouragement. Oh yeah, you know, be like me. You know, I know how to run, I know how to walk, I know how to jump, I know how to, whatever you know. And then it's interesting that we're making talk about this. We hardly ever do, you know. But what was interesting was that it ended with almost like a, like a. What do they call it? Like a? What do they call the end of church when you call somebody?

Speaker 1:

A benediction or altar.

Speaker 2:

Call Altar call, yes, okay, you benediction, or altar call, altar call, yes, you know, like an altar call. So, after all, the motivation and everything here is the trainers, you know, and trying to say that, look, you know, even though you can be like me, you know, but you cannot really do what they are meant to do unless somebody owns you, unless somebody is wearing you, you know. So it's like you are God, God is, you know, He has you and you are again, you're able to express who you are and all you are just because you belong to somebody, and he can do many things really interesting.

Speaker 1:

I must get a copy of that book, so before we go any further. What do you do in terms of career? What's your career path? What?

Speaker 2:

exactly.

Speaker 1:

Because I know you wear many hats. That's why I asked that question.

Speaker 2:

I know you wear many hats, well, let me put put the official hat um.

Speaker 2:

I am an email email strategist okay, yes, so that that's what I do. That's what I am aim to be known for to concentrate on story driven email marketing. So many things have led me to this point where I feel that this is where I would have the most impact. You know most most businesses use or could benefit from better email marketing, and then one of the things that makes email marketing effective is if you are able to have get the attention that you need through emails. We all are bombarded by emails. There are some that actually stand out in our inbox.

Speaker 2:

Some things that you know, so that's where, so that's where storytelling comes in. You know, and I believe that storytelling can be a big part of getting people's attention, which is probably the reason also why, um, I got your attention yes, that's exactly, because I was intentional, you know about it.

Speaker 2:

I said to myself. I said I keep telling my clients to tell their story. I need to also tell my story. Yes, yes, you know. And then many people know me from different parts of my journey in life. I'm not a spring chicken, yeah, as they say, you know. So I've lived a few lifetimes, yeah, um and um. So people know different parts of me, you know. They met me at some point in my journey and so they don't know the whole thing. So it's not like trying to bring a thread that now weaves through the whole thing to say this is where I started and this is where you know, this is where the journey took me and this is where I am now, so that it kind of makes logical sense.

Speaker 1:

Logical sense.

Speaker 2:

This is where I started.

Speaker 1:

this is where I am now, so you actually brought us to the point where I'm just going to tell the audience what we're talking about today, and we're talking about resilience, about being able to just get back from when you fall down, being able to get up and go again, and I think that Emma's life story just tells that in a beautiful way, and I know that when you listen to her story, it will really, really impact you. So, Eme, you're going to tell us your story, everything or whatever you want to share with the audience, so you need to write a book about that. What?

Speaker 2:

happened. I, I just published this book called the vivid story method and, yeah, really nice book. It talks about storytelling and talks about these are the different ways to hack so you can use to tell a story. You know, and I was looking at a book recently and I looked through the book and I was like Emma, you didn't even say a single word about yourself, see.

Speaker 2:

So, like the normal thing in a book would be like, oh, I am this person and you know, this is the reason why this book, you know, so I literally to me, I just made it like a textbook to say what to learn this, this is what to do, step one, step two, step three. You know, but I never said anything about myself. So I was like I need to, um, put my story out there. You do, you know. So, yeah, and I mean, I'm always saying, well, you need to tell your story and I help people tell their stories. I believe god puts me on edge to tell, help people tell their stories. Yeah, you know, and I don't say this like the something that you know how, when you, you, you people ask, oh, what's your purpose? What's?

Speaker 2:

your purpose you know, and you know for many years. I was asking that you know, lord, what's my purpose, what my purpose? You know, and I think it was in 2012 that I knew. I don't want to become very spirited and say it in my head, but I knew that. Okay, yes, I'm here to help people tell their story. So obviously, it's now a case of okay. So what does that look like? Because it's one thing you know sometimes God, just he, will say something to you and then it takes you a while to unpack it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, to even understand it sometimes.

Speaker 2:

To even understand. Yeah, I know, I know. So, yes, I've had one or two of those things. He might just say two words and then it takes you three years to understand what he was saying. But anyway, my story starts. I was born in Nigeria and I was born in nigeria and then I was born to. So I don't, I don't have rags to riches story. I was born to a nice middle class family, as they call them. My dad was a professor of surgery. My mom was a teacher. She did very well in an education. When she retired she was already a director and I think she won some. What was that thing that they give to?

Speaker 1:

she was. Anyway.

Speaker 2:

She did very well in her yeah, she won some, that one that the presidents give.

Speaker 1:

I don't know, hello or something, something Okay, one of those things like an MBE here.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so, yeah, so she. So I was brought up by those kind of people so I didn't feel any sense of lack or anything, you know. And I was doing well in school as well. I was very brilliant in school, even if I say so myself, you know. So I was brilliant in school. I was top of my class and that kind of thing, so everybody had high hopes for me, yeah, you know. But then come year three in medical school, I kind of I lost interest in the in the course. You know, I just didn't know. In fact it's funny because I even though i dropped out of medical school in my third year, by the time it was second year, I I boycotted the exams. I was like I don't want to take this exam, I don't want to do this course any longer.

Speaker 2:

then people said oh no, you need to do so. I actually went back, repeated the year and then took the exams, but I didn't pass. So by then, if you fail twice, I think if you fail it twice, you're out. So that's what now took me home and I said to my parents I want to be a photographer photographer, sorry, a photographer from medicine to photography how did they react?

Speaker 1:

typical African parents how did they react?

Speaker 2:

God bless them is all I'll say. God bless my mother, God bless my father, you know, I mean, sometimes I just think to myself, I just wonder well, as they look at me, you know, because I'm just but then I was what? 19?

Speaker 1:

So I went to university early.

Speaker 2:

I went to university at 16. So then I was what? 19? So I went to university early. I went at 16. So then I was 19,. You know so I was just living my life and doing me, without thinking of other people or not thinking about the consequences or thinking about how does it affect, what does it look like? You know, all I knew was I want to be a photographer, and it made sense to me, you know. So my mum says, okay, we'll look for a photography school, but then there was nothing like that. So she was like oh, let's look, we have some people in UniLag, let's see where we can find you mass communication or something like that, you know. So we couldn't get something in mass communication. so that was closest to what I said I wanted to do, which is media. So eventually we got a place in psychology and that's how I ended up with a psychology degree.

Speaker 2:

Having said all that, I just believe the hand of God was in everything. I believe the hand of God was in everything. God's hand is on you, even when you don't know Him. Let me put it like that.

Speaker 2:

Even when you don't know Him, even when you are just going along trying to do your thing, and, um, even if you're not in rebellion but you're just living your life in ignorance, you know, sometimes it's all you at that time. So, anyway, so that's um how I uh feel. To that psychology degree, somewhere in there, I ended up also being the single mom of two. So I had a boyfriend in the university and we met in Uni. Then at some point I got pregnant and then we had so many. So, many, you want to hear all the gory, all the glory why not, if you're ready to tell us the stories?

Speaker 1:

you're a storyteller. You tell us the story the way you want us to hear it.

Speaker 2:

I think I was year three. What, what actually helped? So year three?

Speaker 1:

were while you were studying um psychology. I was psychologist okay, three.

Speaker 2:

Then I got pregnant and somewhere in there we had those um strikes, okay, and did that break. So okay yeah, at that time, yeah, like early 90s, yeah, you know. And then so my, my classmates in school did not recognize, because by the time the schools went on strike and everybody went home and then Abiola riots and everything and all the unrest and everything and everything was kind of shut down. It was very similar to Covid. There was like a lockdown.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I remember that was in june, 12th month yeah, exactly june 12th.

Speaker 2:

My daughter was born in August. Okay, that june 12th period, yeah, you know. So we kind of see as I. So that way I was, because I don't think I would have been able to still be in a student up to my the end of my pregnancy and then all the kind of things. But god's grace just helped me so that I was able to go home and then have my baby and then we have, we'll have her for a few months and then come back to school, you know when. Finally, you know, schools reopened, that kind of thing, so that's how did your parents react to you getting pregnant?

Speaker 1:

Because you were their child who was doing so well, doing well in school, their star child, and all of a sudden you just went completely in the opposite direction. How did they react to that?

Speaker 2:

It's, I think, above everything and I'm only saying it from my own view it's a question I should ask them, you know, but you know I always you know, with hindsight and everything, I just think, you know, they just thought there was acceptance, they kind of already knew that I was, knew that I had this boyfriend and he was known to the family and that kind of thing, and you know so we had to go for maybe I don't know, a year or so, you know.

Speaker 2:

So when I got pregnant I said, well, it's over. So what do you want to do? Kind of thing, what are you?

Speaker 1:

going to do- Not the typical afican parents, then you know.

Speaker 2:

But, um, he was also young. I think he was at that time maybe doing his youth service or something you know. So it was just some. Um, we're just both too young for us for anything, you know. And having said that, when my daughter was born she was like the light of the family you know.

Speaker 2:

So everybody fell in love with her it was. It's like oh, you will just go and do whatever it is you want to do. You know, thank you for these gifts that you've given us. People should have sought out their lives, kind of thing, you know. So that's, that's how I had my daughter. And then when I came back from my youth service, I was expecting my son. But the interesting thing about that was that a few months before that I had given my life. So that kind of also changed not so much the happenings but changed my perspective of things.

Speaker 2:

Let me tell you something, let me give you an example. You know, and I hope this helps somebody when I first got born again I still had the boyfriend, I still was going out with him. So I got born again in January of 1994, I remember, was when I got born again, but obviously I had my son turning off his birthday in a few days, three days or so, he's turning 30. And so I had him a year later, a year. So obviously I got pregnant for him after I was born again.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

When I got born again. It's such a stupid story to tell, it's so silly, you know, but I didn't know. You know and it sounds so silly to say, but I didn't know that you couldn't have a boyfriend if you were born again, Christian. I did not know that you could not sleep with your boyfriend if you were born again, Christian.

Speaker 1:

How did you not know?

Speaker 2:

I was. I said you know? I said ask people, because we've been going again for years. They're like oh, everybody should know that. No, I'm just wondering Because I think it's one of the things they used to drum in our ears.

Speaker 1:

one of the first few things they used to say to you no sex, no sex, no sex. So how did you not know?

Speaker 2:

It was only one. There was a day that this lady came from church, you know, and I was still living no, no, no, I didn't do no sex, no sex. I had no sex, no sex, no sex, you know. But I was still living with my boyfriend. I was still living with my boyfriend, you know, and one it is woman just comes to me and she says to me I say remember how, something you know, and she just sat me down and escaped me, say you can't be with your boyfriend, and I was like, oh, really. She said, yes, you're now, this is not how we do it. I was like, oh, so that's how I moved out? You know, it wasn't, I just was clueless, you know, it was, you know, I was just clueless anyway, and just like that, and I guess we were, you know, like really, because, interestingly when l got born again he also got, she got born again around the same time, not at the same place, in the same venue or anything, it just so happened that God found us both at the same time. So that's what happened.

Speaker 2:

A lot of people ask me and I'll quickly answer this question question um, oh you people had two children. Why didn't you, um, get married, you know, and it just wasn't to be, um, it wasn't going to be easy. By the time I was ready, he wasn't ready. By the time he was ready, I wasn't ready, you know. And then, yeah, so we were not, it just wasn't meant to be meant to be. So we moved on, you know. Moved on, we made cordial, also have a cordial relationship even to this day. My kids live with him at the moment, from the age of five or six. They went to live with him and his wife when he married. You know, they went to live with him and his wife when he married. So they have a stepmom, so they are very well integrated into his family so they have a relationship with their dad?

Speaker 2:

oh yeah, they live with their dad. Oh yeah, yeah, that's good. So they're there, they live with their dad. At the moment they're working . They work. My son is a I mean a killer. My daughter is a photographer.

Speaker 1:

Oh, wow. Because you never ended up being a photographer, did you?

Speaker 2:

No, no no, she's a photographer, a filmmaker. She does oh nice.

Speaker 1:

So they all went along the creative path as well. So from then, after you um had the, your son and everything, how did the story progress? What happened after that?

Speaker 2:

Because you didn't become a photographer. No, I didn't. No, I didn't become a photographer.

Speaker 1:

Did you work with your psychology degree?

Speaker 2:

No, who works with their degree. You know, I think the main thing for me, you, you know and I say that that was the time when I became an entrepreneur all I knew was that I wanted to work for myself, I wanted to be able to work from home. Yeah, I mean, and this is as far back as 1995, so. I had my kids, so anything that gives me the opportunity to work from home, um, or to be able to be my own boss, or to kind of like um do your own thing flexibility, you know, was what I gravitated towards.

Speaker 2:

So I did have, I did have jobs, you know, and I I worked in Portharcort , like I said, I was selling mobile phones, you know, with Speakeasy cellular systems, and we had that was the days of the 090, not mine, not mobile phones.

Speaker 1:

The old mobile phones.

Speaker 2:

The first generation mobile phones, the old mobile phones, the first generation mobile phones, yeah, the mobile phone, where one mobile phone will cost hundreds and hundreds of thousands of Naira, you know. And then, but yeah, so I did that for a while, you know. But then I had picked up this, or I had developed this, I started Dukebinding.

Speaker 1:

At that time.

Speaker 2:

I didn't have a name for it, I didn't know what it was. All I knew was that I teaching me, you know, and I think that's what has happened to me in business, where I have learned to lean on the Holy Spirit, and he's been, he's been teaching me. So let me tell you, let me jump forward. When I came to the UK in 2004, I'd been making the books. I was very good by then at it, you know, and I said to myself well, I'm here in the UK, let me go and look for a professional bookbinder. Yeah, to teach me, take me through the steps, you know, and maybe training gaps and some training or whatever.

Speaker 2:

You know all these are for that. Either they studied in oxford or they went to italy, or you know all those different places where they do bookbinding. And, honestly, every single thing that he showed me I had I already knew. Okay, every single tool, every single material, every single technique, every single everything. And it's not as if, um, the holy spirit will teach you on one day, you know. You say, oh, sit down here, this is what you do, step one, step two, step three.

Speaker 2:

It's more like, um, when you go somewhere, one person says, oh, this is the name of the thing you know you don't even know the name of the thing they are looking for, and this kind of glue is the best glue you know for this, and this kind of this is what you do. So I'll go, I'll buy paper the market and I'll go to the other place where they cut the paper.

Speaker 1:

I went out so you just figured it out somehow. Yeah, with the help of the Spirit, I would go to another place where they staple the paper.

Speaker 2:

They would say this staple paper doesn't work, let's see how we can sew it with needle and thread, not normal needle and thread. So you just kind of figure it out as you go along. It did very well. We were in shops nice shops like Peter Sands in Palomar shopping centre and different shops and when they had this trade fair they would call us to come and exhibit.

Speaker 2:

So I think, even as I tell the story, I think one of there was just something about me that was very resilient. There was something about me that was almost like somebody that has gliders, or what would they think about me? I wasn't that self-conscious. I wasn't that self-conscious about things. So it's almost my friend would say oh, you're very stubborn. It's not that I'm stubborn, it's just like you see something and you want to do the thing, and the fact that you want to do the thing, you know, and then and the color that you don't um, I think also it's probably the way I was brought up. I didn't have any of those kind of hang-ups so and I didn't feel that there was any place that I couldn't go into there wasn't any place, I couldn't anybody, I couldn't talk to you know, or so I had that.

Speaker 2:

Um, let me not say I had, it's more like I didn't have any of those hang-ups. Okay, so I was able to say if I have an idea, I just spoke for it because I was telling my friend the other day, I was like, some of the things that I want to do now, some of the vision of the things I want to do now, when I look around me, it's only I see that the only people I can see doing it are, sorry, alex, white men you know and the people I see around me doing it and I'm talking about people who are doing it in this- space and doing it very well doing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, this is what I want to do, you know. So these are that there are not even women there, you know.

Speaker 1:

So it's like so you need to jump in quickly actually I'm like so you know?

Speaker 2:

so another part of me is like oh, what are you thinking you're trying to do? What? Look at, look around you, people that are doing it are like you know, let's sexy something year old white men, and you are there, this 55 year old African woman who spends most of the time in her kitchen. You know, I used to want to do it as well, you know, but it doesn't. You know, I don't, I don't, it doesn't hold me back. Yeah, I think that's a luck.

Speaker 2:

You know, that's the luck, or the blessing, you know, and kind, of start over again in the UK with my husband and he also, so we have a blended family. So he also has his um, his uh, children, children from, you know, children from and grandchildren now okay and yeah. So we have this, a blended family situation, and it's an odd situation, you know, but it looks like an opposition, but for both of us it's just normal.

Speaker 2:

And then when we discovered that our boys were autistic and having to grapple with that, I think the point I'm just trying to make is that there's this kind of acceptance. You know, I've always had this struggle of I don't want to tell people that I will tell anybody who is around me that I have autistic children, but I never wanted to use that as part of my story because I didn't want it to be my identity and I didn't want it to be that.

Speaker 2:

I didn't want anybody to pity me or you know say oh, I don't, I don't pity me or say, oh, she's so strong, she's so good, I didn't want that to be like this, badge of honour whatever, just because I feel everybody has something that they're dealing with or grappling with.

Speaker 2:

Everybody has their own story, so I just didn't want that to be like a big part of my story. Having said that, it's not as if it's been all rosy and everything. It's a very difficult situation. You have to find the acceptance there, the love, the laughter and everything, and then you just get on with it. So that's what brought me to the UK, got married, and then Let me tell you a funny story for your guests.

Speaker 1:

Okay, we are listening. They are listening.

Speaker 2:

My last born is 19, 20 years old. Okay, when I came to the UK, I came to do my master's. So I came, I was doing my master's. I learned at Metropolitan University. I was doing international human resource management.

Speaker 1:

So from medicine to photography, to psychology, to international relations. So I had my degree.

Speaker 2:

So I was like, oh, let me come and do my master's. So I was like, oh, come on, let me come under my master, you know. And then, of course, um, I was coming also to um meet my uh, coming to be with my husband you know both and my fiance, um, and so when I I came, I was here for three months yeah, I said for three months. Then, um, he went to Nigeria. I felt like, okay, so just this. I hope this is it. Anyway, let me tell the story.

Speaker 2:

So I was like, when you go to Nigeria, please buy me Birth control pills, because the ones that are here are very expensive. So I think the last time I it was time we had to buy was like 30 something pounds. So I was like, when you go to Nigeria, just buy me birth control pills so that we don't have any accidents. We don't want to tell any story or anything like that. You know, I've seen in school and we were not ready for whatever you know. So, according to him, he says he was on his way to the airport coming back to the UK. He said he went into the pharmacy and he picked up the pills that he was supposed to buy for me and he looked at it and looked at it, and looked at it and then his friend says to him let's go, it's time to go to the airport. And he drops the thing and runs out of the pharmacy, enters the taxi and comes into, jumps onto the plane and comes back to the uk. And that is how I go for it.

Speaker 1:

So we have to blame, we have to blame his friend for not letting him take let's blame his friend.

Speaker 2:

He just made him. He didn't know. He was just thinking should I buy? Should I buy? Should I? What kind of question is that? I'm wondering. You know how it is when you send your husband just this one thing. I'm asking you only one thing.

Speaker 1:

One thing I mean you couldn't bring it. Just this one thing think about that.

Speaker 2:

You know, like you know, it's so it was ordained by God. Anyway, it was like, just like, just the people. I don't even know how they explain the thing you know, but like if that hadn't happened I would not have my son yeah yeah, today you know, and I would.

Speaker 2:

I actually would not have it any other way, you know I mean having my son, you know, yeah, with all the challenges and everything, I really wouldn't have it any other way because he is, he's having him or having them has changed our lives and shaped our lives at the same time. It has it has you know so, but it was just like a split decision, just like one small decision just changes the whole trajectory of your life, your life, yeah, anyway, so that's it.

Speaker 1:

There's a question I wanted to ask you and I don't want to forget, so let me quickly ask that question now. So I was listening to your podcast. So, for those of you who don't know, Eme is also a podcast host. She hosts a podcast titled Email Writers' Unique Life Story, or something like that Email.

Speaker 2:

Writers' Lab.

Speaker 1:

Email Writers' Life. Yes, lab Lab. That's it. Email Writers' Lab. Okay so, and I was listening to one of the episodes of your podcast and you were talking about starting all over again. You know, and I just wanted you to talk about that because there are people here who are listening to what you've been talking about, and it's been from medicine, like we said, from medicine to photography, to starting all over again. What kind of mindset do you need to have to be to be able to start all over again, even when life knocks you down? What is it that you need to have to get you going again? You know, push yourself up and keep going.

Speaker 2:

Sometimes I feel as if I I'm always starting over. Okay, you know, um, and it's interesting because what um, um, I, I? I spent a lot of time writing and I spent a lot of time making my notebooks. I love making, so I have, as I'm sitting down, I have one, two, three notebooks beside me. If you go outside, my notebooks are everywhere. I'm always writing. If I have an idea, I write it down.

Speaker 2:

So for me, there's always that thing of you know a blank page. So the blank page, like having a blank page, it's like a premise. You know it could be anything, you know. So when you so the starting over is, like I said, it's like you give a second chance. Yeah, you know a second chance, and for me it was like being given a second chance. You know, um, I took myself off and went and got me a job. So when I started working with them let me just get back when I started working in the um, digital marketing started having clients. You know I'll do websites. I'll do different things for people. You know I spent a few years, or quite a few years also working in the church, the media departments.

Speaker 2:

You know everything websites, social media, everything you know, and at the point I said to myself oh, this is not working, you know, I, I, I want to have a 95 job, I want to be normal like everybody, and then I'll just have a job. And you know, blah, blah, blah. And so I took myself off to get a job, you know, and I, um, so I got a job and close prior, you know, and wound up clients and, um, you know, had no clients, you know, and in that process, like I said, I had two jobs, actually, one maybe two years ago, let's say, over the past two years. So my job ended two, three months ago, you know. So now my job has ended two, three months ago, you know. So now my job has ended two, three months ago and I said to myself it's time for you to do this thing, do this business. You have, you've been gathering the skills, you've gathered the experience, you've got loads of experience, yeah.

Speaker 2:

So so come and it's time for you to do, and you kind of also come to a point where you say, okay, this is actually what I'm good at and this is what I want to be known for and what I want to do, you know.

Speaker 2:

So that is where the starting over now now comes into, you know, and because also, I've also seen a lot of the mistakes and the things that we do when we're trying to become seen or heard or known in the online space. You know, there's a lot of distractions like the shiny objects oh my God, I'm a big.

Speaker 1:

I fall victim of that all the time.

Speaker 2:

All the shiny objects yeah, freaking to the choir cool, I'm tired of me. They'll be like my friends are tired of me. Like you can't teach this thing they are going to learn. I said it's a course I want to be trying to explain. I need to take this question they'll say you can't take this.

Speaker 1:

The amount of money I've spent on courses God help me I could have built a house in my village.

Speaker 2:

Let me even, let me even say, sound the word of warning to anybody who is listening to this, you know, because I think it's a trap of the enemy. Yeah, honestly, I say, and you know, I say it's half the opinion, you know, but there's that thing of um, when you are trying to do something, you, you stop trusting yourself, so you want to you believe in people's formulas yes the formula to do do this, you know and this.

Speaker 2:

They come with so much certainty and everything, so you don't remember to trust yourself. You don't remember to trust your own, um, your own intuition, your own knowledge, your own um, whatever. So you put your trust in these people and there's that insidious thing that they say it's almost as if, oh, there's this little piece missing in what you're doing yeah, uh, so there's this little piece missing or there's this thing that you don't have that.

Speaker 2:

Oh, if only you had this thing, so that that you know. And when people say, um, you start thinking I'm not enough, I'm not enough, I need more of this, I need more of that. So this is what I'm I'm saying imposter syndrome with those things, it's like, um, you already have enough. You already have what you need I mean, I've had.

Speaker 2:

I've had situations where, like my friend laughed at me so much um I was, I was listening to a thing about. The person was talking about a book. The book was called Great Leads. So a lead is when you write a.

Speaker 1:

Like a lead magnet.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. You write an advert, or the beginning of an email, or the beginning of a story story, the first sentence or even an article in the newspaper, the first um paragraph you know where that there's a way you can write it that will really draw people into the thing you know.

Speaker 2:

So this was talking about it on the video, blah, blah, blah. Greatly, something, something, something, something, you know. So I was like, great, please, I'm going to buy the books. So, off, I went to amazon to buy the book, only to discover that I bought the book in july of 2016. So you already had the book, the same book. I've already bought the book oh I've not read the book but then somebody and I go russian to buy you can find that I bought. I bought the book.

Speaker 1:

It's happened to me many times you know you drive home because it's not like oh my god, this course in 2021, you know.

Speaker 2:

So there's that um thing. So, but starting over, you know, for me, when I when I said, okay, this is now not a case of just what do I want to do, but it's more a case of what do I not want to do you know. So, um, how am I going to keep it simple? Um, so that I can keep myself accountable yeah and, and that's why I now um thought about those three things which have kind of skipped my mind, but basically, you said something about keeping it simple.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, taking responsibility and focus you know, everything is my fault. If, if anything that's happened to me is my fault, any situation I see myself, it's I am the cause of it. Yeah, and if I'm because of it, then I'm also the solution.

Speaker 1:

The solution, yes, you know.

Speaker 2:

So that was the first thing, and then the second one was, um, that I want to um focus on the outcomes. Yeah, because don do not focus on the?

Speaker 1:

outcomes. Focus on the action, On the actions.

Speaker 2:

You know, so you know the actions are like to be consistent. You know to show up you know to get in touch, to do all those kind of things to follow up, you know. So just focus on the things that you know you need to do and don't take your mind off the the outcome. The outcomes. You know because again, again in the internet space, with the noise and everything is probably telling oh, you can make this amount of money in three weeks you can make five thousand pounds in five seconds if you, if you kind of like listen and take that in and try to follow those kind of um formulas and solutions.

Speaker 2:

You, you might, you might find yourself in trouble you know, and um what the third thing? But yeah, I just told myself these are the three things I'm gonna do in starting over that's never so.

Speaker 1:

What is the greatest?

Speaker 2:

is an exciting thing, so it's not something to to be um afraid afraid of okay, something that is exciting, because there's so much that's possible.

Speaker 1:

You can discover about yourself also. I think yeah. So Eme Alex wants to ask a question. Alex, for all those who don't know, is my tech guy. I am DJ Alex, and he wants to ask Eme a question. He's been enjoying the talk so much and he wants to ask me a question. He's enjoying the talk so much, so he wants to ask a question. So go on, hi, yeah, mate. Um, this question is who? What inspired you to become a writer?

Speaker 2:

I never really called myself a writer until a friend of mine asked me to contribute to his magazine. This was probably early 90s or sometime in the mid 90s. You know, I was living in Port Harcourt. He had this magazine. I can't remember the name, k-nos or K-ROS, k-nos magazine. He's still my friend today. His name is Dr Stanley, so he made me. He's a reverend now in Akure also.

Speaker 2:

So he asked me to write for the thing and I wrote this article, you know, and it was good. Even I could tell it was good. You know, and I think, um, when you think um, when I think about that, I think sometimes you have a gift you don't realize you have a gift. So you have this gift. It's given to you to by god, like, almost like he puts this thing in your hand and then it's up to you to develop it or just leave it there, you know. So that that's and that's, that's where the seed of that started, you know. And yes, and then, of course, um, I learned the importance of keeping a journal, and by listening to jim ron, so I would always write things down and I found, I think, I have a busy brain so, and so I would write things down, when I have thoughts, when I learn things. I'm one of those people that when I'm in church, I'm writing what you know, as you're hearing from the, the pastor you're also hearing.

Speaker 2:

You know your own thoughts and also what the Holy Spirit is saying. So you kind of, and I got into that same thing so, and then of course, and picked up the discipline as well, yeah, so following on from that, sorry, you mentioned busy brain and I just had to ask this question how do you calm your busy brain down?

Speaker 1:

because I'm one of those who's exactly the same my brain is thinking three thousand things at the same time. My children say to me mommy, calm down, calm down. You've asked me mommy calm down you're like going so fast. You're far ahead, so how do you deal with that? How do you come? How do you?

Speaker 2:

come. Who said I was dealt with it? I don't know. I think on paper I write. I write a lot, you know. So half the things I write are not for printing. Half the things I write are like plans, and then you know like steps or kind of like making sense of something. So you're writing it out. You know, sometimes I have a. If I have a problem, I can come to paper with it several times, so different version, but the same problem. I'm working it out on paper, you know, and I'm like, oh, maybe I should do it this way or do it that way. But yes, I do understand them having a busy brain, we'll find a way to calm it down.

Speaker 2:

And we may not need to calm it down.

Speaker 2:

I recommend a book. It's called Faster Than Normal Sorry, the book is called Faster Than book. It's called Faster Than Normal Sorry, faster Than Normal. The book is called Faster Than Normal. Okay, it's actually about a guy who has ADHD, okay, and he talks about how he uses his ADHD to his advantage to build businesses and that kind of thing. But it's still that same thing. You have to exercise it. Now, it's not like you can shut it down, it's more like you you have to, um, almost wear it out kind of thing, channel it, you know, but not, you're not so much calming it down. I don't think there's a way to calm it down, okay, well, that's just my opinion I was told listen to classical music.

Speaker 2:

Oh okay, yes, so, so, so I so I hear, I mean there's some, I mean there's. Sometimes I'm like, you know, like these earphones. If I show you the earphone they're like really rag, really ragging. You really see the whatever. They're really ragged, you know. So sometimes I just put it on and put on some music, you know, and yeah and yeah. That kind of helps to to calm well yeah, to manage it I guess to regulate you, almost like to regulate you, to regulate okay, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's like. It's like giving somebody a very deep hug. You know, sometimes that deep hug, you know, after some time kind of like just calms you down and kind of regulates your heart rate comes down. So to me that's what music does for me.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so what is the greatest lesson that your life has taught you?

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

So what is the greatest lesson that your life has taught you? Such an interesting question. I think one of the greatest lessons that life has taught me is that everything is going to be okay, yeah. So, um, you just have to it's. I mean, I wish I could.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to say god is faithful, you know, and I mean I would say to anybody who is not a believer you know, um, it might sound difficult, but it might sound like, you know, it doesn't make sense. You know, but god is faithful, you know, and, um, once you know things are in his hands, you'll see his hand in your life. You know, we see it, we see it daily, we see it, um, so that that gives you that. It's almost like giving you like a, like a. This picture that I have in my mind is like just having like a river. Okay, in a river that's just um, just flowing steadily in the background, or rather like below everything you know, so everything is going on about you, but there's just that thing like just goes, like a river.

Speaker 2:

So I think one of the greatest things that life has taught me is that God is faithful and the Holy Spirit is a great teacher. He is a great teacher there is. You know, sometimes I'll say to. I was having a conversation with my sister and I said to her my baby sister, she's a banker. And I said to her I said do you know that the Holy Spirit knows about banking? He knows about banking, he knows about forensic accounting. So I don't know why you're disturbing yourself oh, you're stressing over it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, why are you stressing about it? You know, because some of the things that I see the holy spirit teach me and friends of mine about their businesses and about whatever it is like even you mentioned it, even you're on your podcast, whatever it is like, even you mentioned it, even you're on your podcast. You know about podcasting, bringing people to you. This one says this journey that you explained, um tele, is exactly the kind of journey that I was trying to describe with bookbinding. You just go, you have this random conversation. Then you meet somebody like me.

Speaker 2:

I don't know how you met um alex, your tech sound guy, you know, but like you just meet somebody seems like a random thing. You know how you met um alex, your tech sound guy, you know, but like you just meet somebody seems like a random thing, you know, but god just has a way of just, you know, building it line up online. So, um, so, trusting god, I guess, is more is is probably the the biggest lesson that life has taught me, because he, he never feels God. I sound so very spiritual.

Speaker 1:

There's nothing wrong with that. I sound so very spiritual, you know. There's nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 2:

You don't have those moments where you're like, oh God, what's going on? Like, honestly, it's because I could say, because I can say that I've had all these different ups and downs and ups and downs. You know, you just find out that at the downs and ups and downs, you know, um, you just find out that at the end of the day, you know, he, he just remains faithful. There have been times when my son, I just remember one time my son had a seizure, you know, and then he had a seizure. It was really bad one he was. He went into, he was seizing for like nine hours straight.

Speaker 2:

You know, this was, um, this was a while ago, you know, like 10 years ago. And you know, and I don't know, I probably didn't think he was going to make it, you know, but, um, after that harrowing experience, I remember coming back to the house and for some reason, we had a record player in the house with some records and I, just as soon as I walked into the house, my husband thought I was going crazy. You know, I just walked into the house and I put on some music, you know, and it was this, um, or this Fleetwood Mac song. And don't stop thinking about tomorrow don't stop. So I just put it on, put it on the loudest and was just dancing around the house like a mad person.

Speaker 2:

People were just. People were just saying we just need her. You know, just need her. We know we don't know what's going on with her, but she's working something else. So there's some of those kind of times when it's like you have to find a way to encourage yourself and have to find a way to almost talk back to this situation that you're going through, or that kind of thing. But, um, at the end of the day, god always find, he always finds you. He always finds you send somebody to you, you know, send the word to you, something here on tv, or you know reading elusipa, or you see on a billboard, or you know something, your heart, so you wake up. Let me make it last. There was one day and I think I've I've talked for too long now we are coming close to the end.

Speaker 1:

We'll soon be ending, so much we don't mind another story there was one day I woke up in the.

Speaker 2:

I woke up in the morning and as soon as I woke up the, the um picture that came to my mind was a picture of a crane yeah, a crane, the bird yeah, so there's there's this cartoon picture of a crane that has a frog in his mouth. He's trying to swallow the frog and in the cartoon the frog has help is strangling the crane.

Speaker 2:

So it's like you're trying to swallow the frog and the frog is trying to struggle, you know, holding your throat, to say this you cannot, you cannot swallow, you cannot swallow me, in fact, I'll kill you.

Speaker 2:

He said you, I'm holding your throat, so it's like the crane is the one that is in trouble, even though you know and I woke up, that was the picture that just came into my mind and, honestly, at that point in time I felt like I was that frog, you know, but it's almost like, yeah, just holding on for dear life, kind of thing, you know, but so, so, sometimes the whole history just comes or it just wakes you up and, yes, you find yourself singing a particular song or or that kind of thing, you know. So he's always there, he always knows how to find you, and I think that's one of the things that I am, one of the biggest lessons I've learnt in life, you know, and, um, my story kind of followed many um, this thing and obviously the. The person I am today is not the person I was all those years back, you know, but god always deals with you according to to wherever you are you know, and and then and, so it makes the journey interesting.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's really exciting yeah.

Speaker 1:

So we fast come to the end of today's um podcast. I was really, I really would want to have you back again, because this story, we need to continue with this story, because this story is really interesting. But time constraints for today, but I always like to end the podcast on a note of hope. So what can you say to the people listening out there? What can you say to give them some kind of hope? If somebody's going through some situation they're feeling like, okay, oh god, I'm starting, I'm having to start all over again, oh god, this, this situation is overwhelming, I don't know what to do. What can you say to them to help them, to encourage them to remain resilient?

Speaker 2:

um, I know that there's people that say, um, this too shall pass, yeah, but I know, I know what it's like to be really overwhelmed yeah you know, but you know some, some things you just think you know. How did I even get out of this? You know, I remember when we um, when I first moved when I first moved to the uk.

Speaker 2:

My husband was staying with his friend, you know, they were just sharing the flat or something. So we started looking for a flat and then it was just this situation. I remember this situation where it's like you have to come up with this large amount of money it seemed such a large amount how is it going to happen? You know that we have to find the, the deposit, and find the something, and then find the rent and then find the house, and you know. So it was like how are we going to? It was like hopeless, like that. Yeah, you know, and honestly, between you and me, where we found the money, I cannot remember. All I knew is that one day we were in the house, one day we were in the flat, you know, and we were living there. Now, you know, and I was like because I still remember that feeling, you know that really hopeless feeling, you know and that's um.

Speaker 2:

That's what I would say to anybody who is going through, you know, and that's um. That's what I would say to anybody who is going through anything like literally anything. You know, um, god can always make you weak.

Speaker 1:

You will always make your way.

Speaker 2:

You know what we need to manage really is our feelings or our emotions. Yeah, you know, um, how we are reacting and how we are encouraging ourselves or, you know, getting ourselves around people that care for us. You know and you know there's nothing like being around people that care for you. You know, people that can't even speak a um to you.

Speaker 2:

That just puts things in perspective yeah and my pastor, pastor abby, she would say my pastor's wife, brother and also my person. And pastor abby, she would say, um, life happens. Yeah, you know, I remember when the first time I heard her say that I was like this is happening and this is happening, and this is happening and this is happening. And you know, I don't know what's going. You know, and she's like life happens. You know, it was like almost like pouring cold water on me. You know, like you know what life actually happens, you know it. You know it just kind of resets your mind and you know to say, okay, you know, this is not like him. You know, like the bible will say don't think that something strange has happened to you. Everything is common to man and you know, and god, with this, with the trouble, will make a way of escape. And that's that's been my story, you know. And um, and he has never failed, you know he's never failed.

Speaker 1:

He has never failed. Life may happen to you, but god is there, god is faithful, he has never failed and he will never fail. So, emma, if how do people get in touch with you? If they want to get in touch with you for email marketing and help, or they want you to teach them how to tell beautiful stories, or how do people get in touch with you? Because I'm going to put all the links to all your books in the in the show notes. If that's okay with you, I'll put all the links to the books in the show notes so people who want to buy the books on your shoe talking to the shoe. I'm definitely getting the book on talking to the.

Speaker 2:

Yeah you can find me on emebasicom. My name is emebasicom, or just Google me, or you know emebasi. Or you can go to the emailwriterslabcom. Email Writers Lab is where you will find information about courses. I'm actually running a workshop it's probably too soon for your guests, but I probably will be running it every month a workshop on telling your story and writing or crafting your origin story. Okay, yeah, so I will be working with a small group each month month, you know, just for for a couple of hours, you know, because I believe everybody has, um, something in their story that they can connect to what they are doing and then also then use it to connect to their audience okay.

Speaker 1:

So if you send us all the details of that and then we'll put all of that in the show notes as well, okay, so even if so, if you're having another, a future um workshop, people can always join.

Speaker 2:

At least they know where to find you and all of that, yes, yes, I also help um, obviously, um course, creators, ceos, to also tell their story with them, their email marketing. One thing that I like to do is make a creator create an email course, like a free email course, that you can use to grow your audience and show your authority as well as your authenticity. So I help with writing those kind of things.

Speaker 1:

So all the information will be in the show notes. All right, Thank you so much. Thank you so so much.

Speaker 2:

You must really be a very good host, because you made me talk more than I did. I'm just talking and talking, but yeah it was a nice conversation.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for coming on. Really really appreciate having you on. Thank you so so much. And hopefully we'll have you back again soon. Good night, good you on. Thank you so so much, and hopefully, we'll have you back again soon, good night, good night.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for joining me today on navigating the chapters of challenge. Your time means the world to me and I hope today's episode inspired and encouraged you. If you enjoyed this episode, don't keep it to yourself. Share it with your friends, family or anyone who could use a little hope and encouragement. You can find our podcast on Spotify, Buzzsprout, Apple Podcasts, YouTube and wherever you love listening to podcasts, Want to support the show? It's easy Just click the support button on Buzzsprout, and any contribution, big or small, helps us keep bringing you stories and insights that matter. And don't forget to check out our latest book Navigating the Chapters of Challenge from Trials to Triumph, available now on Amazon, is packed with inspiration and practical wisdom to help you navigate life's storms. We'd also love to hear from you If you have a story to share, an idea or just want to say hi. Feel free to reach out. Your voice matters and, who knows, your story might just inspire our next episode. Thanks again for listening. Stay strong, stay inspired and I'll see you on the next episode.