"From Diagnosis to Dance: Tayo’s Inspiring Journey to Cancer-Free Living"

“You don’t get to choose the chapters, but you can decide how the story unfolds.”

In this inspiring episode, Tayo opens up about her life-changing journey from cancer diagnosis to recovery, sharing her experience with a positivity that’s both contagious and empowering. She takes us back to the moment she received the diagnosis, detailing her initial reaction and the rollercoaster of emotions that followed. Tayo shares how she faced cancer treatment head-on, leaning on optimism and inner strength to keep moving forward.

Determined to find light even in dark moments, Tayo talks about how she started a dance group during the COVID pandemic (while still undergoing treatment), to spread positivity and bring joy to herself and others. Dance became her form of therapy, helping her embrace her body and rediscover life’s simple pleasures. Now, as a cancer survivor, she reveals how she’s maintaining a healthy, vibrant lifestyle by using natural herbs and holistic practices she’s researched and found beneficial for her post-cancer health.

Join us to hear Tayo’s uplifting story about resilience, finding purpose in tough times, and living with intention. Her journey serves as a testament to the power of positivity, community, and holistic wellness in healing.

Why You Don’t Want to Miss This Episode:

• A candid look at navigating life after a cancer diagnosis
• Insights on the power of positivity in cancer treatment and recovery
• Tayo’s top tips on herbs and natural remedies for post-cancer wellness
• The importance of community and finding joy through dance

Keywords: cancer survivor, cancer diagnosis, cancer treatment, cancer-free, positive mindset, holistic wellness, herbs, healing through movement

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hello, everyone. Hello and welcome to Navigating the Chapters of Challenge with Tele. Today I've got my friend, my sister, my buddy, I don't know what to call her. I've known her for so many years and yeah, I've got Tayo in the house with me today and we're going to be talking about the topic of cancer and the experience that she went through and she's just going to give us her own perspective and what she went through. So I'm going to ask, before we start, I'm going to ask Tayo to introduce herself, tell us about herself, what she does and stuff like that. And then we'll take it from there.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01

Okay. Hello, everybody. I am Tayo, Tayo Uriri, Tayo Adjani Uriri. I am a mom of two adult children. I am a trained teacher in the UK. And due to personal circumstances with illnesses, I've now become a Supply teacher. I dabble in a lot of health things. I like to dance. I am very bubbly. So I like things that have to do with health, lifestyle. So, but professionally, I'm a teacher.

SPEAKER_00: 1:38

Okay. Yeah. She's been a teacher for many years. So we're just going to dive straight into it. And I'm just going to ask you Tayo, when did you know that there was something wrong? When did you get the diagnosis of cancer?

SPEAKER_01: 1:51

This was in 2019. Actually, my son had just, yeah, he had just turned 19. We had just had his birthday in January. And I just felt a pain. So to be honest, Usually, we're told it's a painless lump. So also, I do remember that when my son, who was 19 then, was like about two years old, I did ask the health visitor to show me how to check myself because we do have it in the family. So I do have that experience of checking because there was this issue of where is your breast lumpy or is your breast not lumpy? I didn't really know what lumpy was. So I was told that you need to know what normal is. And when you're breastfeeding, it's really lumpy. And I didn't want to be worrying about that. Back forward to 2019, I just did a check because it was really, so I felt a pain. Like I thought maybe because I'd done exercise. So I felt a pain in my left breast. So I just thought, oh, okay. So then I told my husband, what do you, do you feel something there? He said, yeah, yeah, just something. Oh, it's painful. So it was painful. So he said, oh, it's painful. So it's fine. You know, there's nothing. So I said, well, I think I should, but I wasn't thinking breast cancer because the lump was painful, but I'm always careful. So I just wanted to go and see with a doctor, make an appointment to say, well, I want you to show me that this lump is not painful. It's not cancerous. It's nothing. Like some people have seen this and they have said it was nothing. So I made an appointment. I called, then I called a friend and she was like, you know what? Stop the calling and waiting. You can't get an appointment. Get up, go. So the doctor, The day after, because that day, it was the night I found it. And then, so that whole day, because I was calling and then my mind, to be honest, at that time, it's painful, it's nothing. I'd called another friend. So I waited two days later and then she said, you know what, just get up and go to the surgery. So I went there first thing. And as soon as I said, oh, I think I found a lump. She said, do you have family history? And I was like, yes. She just gave me an appointment within an hour. So I just said, you know what, I'll wait and see. So the doctor checked and said, oh, it's usually nothing. That's what they say, but we want to be sure. Don't worry about it. Within two weeks, you'll get a letter saying you should come into the hospital to get a mammogram. Because at that time, I was 49. No, no. Yeah, I was 49. Wow. Okay. So, yeah. So I then, so I was looking, I then checked the, so they then waited for me and I got the letter and, A week before, just within one week, I didn't, because my other friend was saying, okay, she'll come and check it. She's a GP, a friend as well. I told other friends, they were like, don't worry about it. Everybody was saying the same thing. How does it feel? Is it painful? Oh, it's fine. So, but within a week, it wasn't up to two weeks. And I am really grateful to that, you know, in Hertfordshire, you know. So I went to the Kiwi 2, which is the hospital, the breast clinic there in Hertfordshire. And yeah, they said, oh, come in for a mammogram. So I I went in for a mammogram. And as soon as, you know, well, if everyone has had the mammogram, you get the iron press, which is... That is a horrible thing. Yes. Oh, yeah. It's painful. Especially when you don't have a lot to give in there. And they're pressing and they say... But the thing that happened was something like breast milk came out. And I had not... Yeah. And I mean, my son was 19. So that... We stopped breastfeeding since... So I thought, oh, breast milk. And I told the lady, oh, she said, don't worry. Yeah, they're very good at assuring you. But something just chained in me when I saw that breast milk come out during the mammogram. So then I waited and then they said, okay, waiting for a deep call because I was just supposed to do a mammogram and go away. I think because they had seen that, I don't know what happened, but it changed immediately. So I waited for five minutes and they said, wait for a deep call. So I had to have an incision

SPEAKER_00: 6:20

where

SPEAKER_01: 6:20

they took part of the lump to be sure. And they said, okay, we'll call you, give you a phone call, you know, and then you'll get a text saying you should come. So instead, I didn't get a text. I didn't get a phone call. I got, oh, actually, yeah, I got a phone call, but it wasn't from the doctor or the nurses. It was from the receptionist saying I should come in. And please, would I like to come with someone so yeah I knew so and my husband was teaching he's also a teacher at that moment so I didn't want to worry him so I just called a friend to say let's go okay and so that was so it took like within so in between yeah so the moment I actually knew was the mammogram and the fluid like breast milk coming out yeah so that was

SPEAKER_00: 7:06

yeah so when they told you that it was actually cancer how did you feel especially knowing that there was a history of it in the family

SPEAKER_01: 7:13

It was surreal, to be honest. It didn't sink in. And because my friend does not drive, I was driving. I drove there and I didn't want to disturb anyone. I was just that kind of person that would carry everything. So I was like, okay, you know, I was thinking of my children rather than thinking of myself. I was thinking of my children. I was thinking of my husband. I was thinking, you know, like I don't want them to worry. So to be honest, when I was told that and the doctor was like, oh, I'm so sorry to say, to be honest, I prepared myself. Within a week, I kind of knew, I started reading books and I called my sisters then yeah that made me strong and I was like they were more scared than me and my elder sister was like right I'm coming I was like no don't come let's get a decision first so because I had that time to prepare I didn't break down or anything to be honest they didn't so when my friend was there she was looking at me I said yeah they said and so she was like so then she saw that I was being brave and so she wanted to be brave for me which was kind of funny looking back now so I drove home and it was when I drove home I then called my son who was in university and I said this is what they had said oh I'm coming home then I called my younger one and I said dad is not going to know how to cope with this yes so Then the night before then, I spoke to my sisters and we were making preparations. What do you want to do? You know, that was when I broke down and I really did cry because I couldn't believe that my mom had gone through all that. Sisters had gone through all that. And then, yeah, and I was going through

SPEAKER_00: 8:51

the same

SPEAKER_01: 8:52

thing. So it did take a while. I'm that kind of person. It does take a while to sing. But when it sank, it sank deep.

SPEAKER_00: 8:58

How did your husband react when he eventually heard

SPEAKER_01: 9:02

you?

UNKNOWN: 9:03

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 9:04

because he was so sure because I had not told him when I came back because I didn't want like because I felt he was going to be disappointed that he didn't come with me but I didn't want because teaching is hard and he was going through some things there in teaching so it took like and the boys were like dad's not going to be able to take this yeah so to be honest I didn't know how to tell it to him because he was like oh you're fine you know and he was like an optimist he is an optimist and like so yeah so it took a while and I told another friend who came in. And yeah, he was worse than me. He broke down. I was like, you better not be crying because I need to be strong. Yeah, so he broke down. I was like, what are you doing? Did they say I'm dead? I'm not dead. So what are you doing? So when I'm dead, is this how you're going to cry? You know, I just kind of made a gesture of it. Yeah, so yeah, so that was it. That was the worst of it, to be honest. And I think he then pulled himself together because I needed to break down and I didn't want it to be both of us breaking down at the

SPEAKER_00: 10:07

same time yeah okay so going on from then what was the next stage what happened next

SPEAKER_01: 10:12

yeah so the next stage was to come in see the oncologist and they were going to tell me what was going to go on and all the treatment i was going to have and yeah so by then i don't know the crime i don't know the year and because this was 2019 before covid so yeah so they told me in january my son had just done his birthday and and it was beginning of the year people are still saying happy but um merry happy new year merry christmas you know all people and i just kept quiet i was really into myself what's really going on what am i going to do you know so i just thought about it i thought my son is in uni the other one's too young you know i can't be thinking of death however when i got to the to the hospital to see the oncologist so I had an oncologist a breast care nurse they are wonderful in Hertfordshire to be honest I don't know any other place that you know I can compare with but when it comes to breast cancer they were really good and they were very understanding they would wait and listen to you and I don't know I just took a liking to my doctor so anyway so she said so these are the things so here's the thing. However, You can die. So what it is, is it's a very aggressive one. They then told me what it was aggressive to, you know, things like that. And then I realized I was doing something. I was just taking it in. Like I was watching TV.

SPEAKER_00: 11:45

Okay. I didn't really let it sink in.

SPEAKER_01: 11:47

Yeah. It didn't sink in. I don't know. I think my body just kicked in to defend me. I don't know what really, to be honest, I'm not sure how that, because later on now, looking back and all that, there's some things are like, really? I went through all that yeah so anyway so they told me all the options and it was it is really nice to have sisters that they're all abroad and you know not around but the technology was good so we had a meeting and all that but yeah the thing was like go and have the mastectomy mom was you know you know mom was too late to do hers it spread because we had already had down it's not going to happen to us again and my sister and all that and so my sister who I had who had survived I was like I thought we could talk but yeah things had changed every time things change for breast cancer so I would say I looked at what was out there. And that's what I did. So they gave me all the options. And they said, go and choose. And because I'm such a vast reader, I read all the options and everything like that. And yeah, that was the time I told some aunties who were on my mother's side. And you know, social media, if you take chemotherapy, you're going to die. If you do this, you're going to die. So I then called friends and people that were medical. Yeah, medical people knew what they were doing i was like and then i was into yeah you're a doctor what do you do what exactly so i talked to oncologists i talked to breast care nurses uh so they are the best people to talk to because they've met people who yeah so i talked to the breast breast care nurse said take You see this doctor, she asked who was my doctor. I told her I was doctor. Apparently, she's one of the best in the whole of the UK. You know, Dr. Ms. Dior. And she said, she says anything, take it. But the doctor wasn't saying, she was saying, these are your options. So I

SPEAKER_00: 13:44

didn't ask her. So she didn't tell you what to take? They

SPEAKER_01: 13:47

don't tell you. They tell you these are your different options. What route do you want to do? So I said, what's best for me? She said, this works, this works, this works. These are the side effects. So I read all of them and I said, whatever's going on, give it to me. So yeah, I took everything from Yeah, so from the tablets. So they gave me a tablet to stop the... Because it was very aggressive. It could move very fast. And by the time I was going to do the treatment, she said, I have to also consider that I shouldn't teach anymore because my immunity was going to go down because I was teaching children because I'm a primary teacher. Yeah, that really broke me in a way because some of... If someone says, who are you? I always like to say teaching. Yeah, I'm a teacher. It's not a profession to me. It's part of who I am, you know, so that I couldn't teach anymore or things like that. That wasn't. So I thought, okay, I'll just blank it out. So I thought, okay, I'm on a one year holiday. So they told me it was going to take seven years. They tell you straight away. Seven years. It was going to take the treatment. Yeah, it's going to take seven years on average, you know, things like that. And then, yeah, so they, and then they tell you reality as well. You could die. and so

SPEAKER_00: 15:05

yeah actually tell you that yeah

SPEAKER_01: 15:07

they tell you that they tell you to prepare your wheel to prepare things you know and the good thing is that it's not like an accident and then you go out and you're dead there is no so look at the upside and that was one thing i learned from my mom if you're asking how did i cope i think is always looking for the right side of things i've always done that not a delusional side that's different okay you know i knew i was going to have this treatment but i was like okay you've got breast cancer however it's better than an accident and you died so even if I'm going to die I've got time to put myself in order to put my stuff in order so that was one thing and then to be honest like I was telling you there was a friend who said at least yours can be cut off because that was the issue you know like you can get your breast cut off for 20 you know that kind of thing you really used to take pride in that I didn't look my age I was you know took care of myself and things like that now you're going to have part of who you are being cut off I thought that was until she had some Something to do with the throat The cancer was in the throat Do you cut off the throat? No So I really prayed I told God to forgive me You know because I was like How ungrateful was I? You know, that's how I felt, to be honest. And I was like, I was so ungrateful. At least this is something that can be cut off. What's the big deal about being cut off? Can a neck be cut off? No. And, you know, so we gathered around her and I realized that gathering around people and then people started telling me theirs. Because people that I didn't know they were living with issues were feeling comfortable telling me because they felt I could now understand

SPEAKER_00: 16:46

what they were going through. You

SPEAKER_01: 16:47

know, but then, but guess what? The unexpected thing was I found that helping people took away my So it took away the worry. It took away everything. So I dived into talking to other people. This is what I've been diagnosed with. I'm going to tell people. So right from the onset, I was telling people. And my husband was like, you shouldn't tell. I said, no, it helps me. So I didn't see it like I was helping other people. So even then, I went to church and I was telling people. Because then I noticed that people actually asked me, like you said. And I was like, I thought people just know how it's a lot. I said no how did you feel what was it and you know so even the doctor was writing notes down because they had they then added one of the symptoms because they were like oh painless lumbar

SPEAKER_00: 17:33

said no because that had always been well known if it's painless then that's when you need to worry if it's painful then no need to worry now you're saying this is a bit like yes

SPEAKER_01: 17:42

it was painful yeah so they added one of the symptoms that if you find that you have like breast milk when you're not breastfeeding is another issue you know so that was an added one to me because People were speaking. So I then found out, wow, people are not speaking until they feel you're in their shoes. So that was when I then, well, with that time, we had not formed a group or anything like that. I was just into the treatment. So I went through the route of chemotherapy. At that time, the choice, it's been a while. So I have to recall, the choice was to do, the tablets for three months and then I'll have chemotherapy for about six months so it will be it will start first there was one set they said that was like the mild one and they were talking about the hair it was it's funny now because the list of my problem was losing my hair but then they want to help you and they said oh there's this experiment where you could make your car cold cap and all those things and I was still thinking about the hair and all that so I did the first treatment my sister came down straight away from Nigeria we went night clubbing night clubbing we went night clubbing why night clubbing I don't because we like to dance and you don't really have somewhere to say okay let's go and dance so we went to this Afrobeat yeah Afrobeat was good because it's a cheerful upbeat thing okay so yeah so that was why we did that so we just went and my sisters were like how is she how is she oh she's fine she's dancing so you know that is fine she's dancing I'm like yeah I'm fine so sometimes you helps you and my hair had not gone away that time and i got somebody another friend who made everything so like what do you want i'm doing it if this is the last time you're gonna have hair so yeah i did something that would dance all over the place so i remember that and we took pictures and everything but yeah two weeks later back to earth because the whole thing just was on my pillow

SPEAKER_00: 19:43

Your

SPEAKER_01: 19:44

hair? Yeah, my hair was on my pillow. How did you feel when that happened? Oh Lord, I was like, your children are around, let them go to school, let them go to school. I kept thinking about them, my children. So they went and I cried. I have not cried like that for so long. But guess what? Like I said, I got this habit of knowing how to find the good thing. oh gosh I had not slept as nice as that after I slept so well after the crying because I kept

SPEAKER_00: 20:13

holding it

SPEAKER_01: 20:15

but there was no one could hear me I shut the windows and I did all the crying I could and yeah then I felt better and then I slept you know then I called then they give you a number you could call the nurse you know there was this Nigerian nurse and she was so good and she said Tayo you know what just cut your hair you don't want to see it falling each time you try because it was in patches it would drop into one place or the other so she just said just cut it so I just went okay you know what I just got scissors and cut it I was like well I cut my hair when I was in secondary school so why not I cut it really low and guess what everywhere I went I kept seeing women with low cut bald hair It became in fashion. I didn't know. That's how everyone

SPEAKER_00: 21:00

knew I was ill. So you started a trend then?

SPEAKER_01: 21:01

I don't know if I started it. It was just, you know how it is that when you do something and then all of a sudden you're noticing it all around you. Because then I'd prepared, I'd even told a friend, get me wigs from Nigeria. Get me scarves, everything. I put on the wig, I couldn't even stand it on my head. I was like, oh my goodness, I didn't know. Because friends had gathered around, they got me loads of wigs, you know. They had supported. And there was another friend, even we had this get together where they were teaching me how to put on eyelash i think i took a picture that's your husband even he commented when i was like okay eyelash because yeah they tell you your hair it's not just the one on your head is everything everywhere oh no and i never knew the difference between how your face looks when you have eyelashes lashes and when you don't or eyebrow It's so much of a difference. I learned not to... I never thought about that. Yeah. I learned not to look down on people who... Because I would be like, what's the big deal? Why are they doing makeup all the time? That humbled me. It humbled me so much. Makeup was... It has its own... Place. Place, yeah. If it's for... Because then I went into how you put eyebrow that will not come off. You know, so I was looking into those things. Some people were talking of tattoo. I was like, no, We're not going there. So yeah, so those were the things. Yeah, so I did the treatment of the chemotherapy and then I had the lump set to me. They said, oh, it was nice. It's a new thing that's going on. You can just take out the lump and that's it that you have to do. And then you do radiotherapy. So I just was like, so I just trusted everything. Because all I did was research her. I did research asked around and I just went with how my I don't know what to go yeah there was just this thing like her spirit was just in sync with each other I just could trust her you know sometimes you can't trust all medical people I just knew she was and funny you know she said she was the only one that was a doctor that her sisters and everybody were teachers you know so she understood the pressure of teaching in the UK and all that so anyway I was like, yeah, we'll do that. So I did a lot of chemotherapy. And yeah, there's some that your nails get black and fall off. Your fingernails fall off and all of those things. But how was I dealing with it? I started to dance. And yeah, in a year, COVID hit. And yeah, I'm saying it online now. Misery does like company because everybody was at home with me now. And people were like, you know, so yeah. So I didn't mind. So you didn't feel. Yeah, I didn't feel as lonely as in 2019. You know, so I was doing the chemo. I'd done the lumpectomy. I'd done then Christmas. I was going to Cambridge every day. You had to go every day for radiotherapy. So I did that. Yeah, skin gets burned. But I just, then I went into looking at shea butter.

SPEAKER_00: 24:07

I

SPEAKER_01: 24:08

started looking at looking at because your skin gets really really dry and itchy and there's so many things I started reading about things and most of all this formula had shea butter in it then I started reading about body shop and I noticed I was like you know what get it for me but what was the main thing the smell so I was like okay I'm going to look into it I'll not get the smell keep everything into it so that's when I started making all that and I thought okay I'll sell it but yeah I know that was one other time I found that that was not my selling was Yeah, no, selling wasn't my calling. However, I had loads of ideas. I was going to creams. I made so many different things. I looked at herbs, how they could help. And that's when I started growing aloe vera, that it could grow in the UK. I started looking at things like that.

SPEAKER_00: 24:53

So, yeah. Before we go into all of that, we're still going to come back to the herbs and stuff like that. I wanted to talk us through your dancing. How did the dancing help? Because I know you love to dance and you're night clubbing. You're the only one who will go to night clubbing. You've got that kind of darkness. How did the dancing help? Because I know they say things like that improve the mood. How did it improve your mood? What did it do for

SPEAKER_01: 25:18

you? The thing is, okay, I wouldn't say... People don't know me from childhood. Your husband knows I was a dancer. I did all kinds of dancing and that was nice. But, you know, as you grow up and you leave all those things and you think it's childish. And so that was my link back into... no worries you know like I wanted to connect to that person the entire that had no worries that just you know so music was it and there's no way when you've got music in you you move so that was it and I'm also very hyper so yeah so I knew that I was and that was the coming of Afrobeat as well so things just came into place so I thought okay now you're Christian and then I went and announced I was in the nightclub and they were like okay we'll forgive her because that's her therapy but I wanted people to come with me so and in school I was good at being the person who would choreograph the you know, the music. Christmas plays and stuff like that. Yeah, the dance, the actual dance. So I could listen to like, oh, I liked Onyeka a lot. I could listen to it and then put action into it and all that. And because I also did education in Nigeria, there was an aspect that you choose. You choose the, so I chose dance drama because honestly, that was my, I wanted to be into theatre arts. It was just, you know how it is in Nigeria. There's no money, there's no job. Don't do that. It's not for girls and all those things. So yeah. But, Teaching was another thing where someone told me, you can bring all your gifts into teaching. That's really why I liked it because you're not, you can be anything. You can be a dancer and be a teacher. You can be anything. You bring it into teaching. So, yeah. So I put that and I used to teach about drums. So that just put me in another world. You have to be a dancer to just understand exactly what I'm talking about. Dancing took away my shyness. Yeah. People would say, yeah, tire shy. Yeah. I was on stage and I just transformed into something else. That's when I used to do that in school, secondary school. So I... started writing. I journaled and remembered things like that. So I thought, okay, I want to show this. I want to help people who are depressed and all that. So I started doing, so I just got Spotify, got some music and say, okay, right. I looked at some other dances and it would be like one, two, three, four. And I thought, no, but when we used to dance, it was the song that gave us a certain step that even with memory, it helps. So I started reading how it helps with memory and all that. And I thought, no, I want to do something different. I want to listen to the whole music and use the music to do the steps not that to say right so I choreographed it and there was COVID so I thought okay we'll use it for I think our university alumni was doing something I said okay I'll use that to raise money and loads of women were like you know I just feel down I've just been sitting down for a long time I don't want to run I don't want to do this okay so let's dance and it was another way that women just forgot who they were they were not shy so that's one thing that I'm not shy at all when I'm dancing it's not it could be a crowd I just didn't see it so we started with music and there were like five of us and then we did so I started doing then I called it simple steps it was first simple steps with Tayo then I would put it on I would say what do you think we should call it with Zumba so I said Zumba simple steps or simple steps with Tayo so yeah stepping with Tayo I just wanted it simple then people said oh I don't like line dance it's too complicated so I said I promise see it's just going to be four four steps come with me and people who were like oh you shouldn't dance that that that that were doing it and they were so happy you know so evil people that were not ill were doing and that was part of their and you know all the therapy kind of it was yeah so to be honest it wasn't just the dancing was that i brought the dancing to help people it was just like a bi thing that i found that oh yeah i was getting on and people like oh you're so positive and like you don't know the half of it I'm not positive. I'm just finding out that it helps me put myself away when I'm helping others. And people were looking forward to it. It was like a friend would be like, oh, I've not danced. We have to set on. So I did it through Zoom. So we did simple steps. And yeah, that's how I went on. And then there was a friend who was like, when COVID started going down, We started doing it in the park. So we would go to

SPEAKER_00: 29:51

the park. Yes, we went to the park. I remember watching recordings he would send me.

SPEAKER_01: 29:55

Yes, they would record clips. It was another friend I just thought, because she had lupus and she would go for a walk and we would walk and everything. And she said, you know, we'll talk and all that. We just need something to just... And she said, let's do it in the park. Why not? So I was like, okay, maybe there'll be other people. You know people. How many people want to come to the park? So we just put it up and say, join us at Soso. Sometimes there were three of us. And sometimes it was 30, you know? So yeah, we started doing that as well. That was good. So yeah, that's how that

SPEAKER_00: 30:25

came about. So let's talk about the herbs now because I know that you've gone into researching herbs and how they can help with dealing with the side effects of cancer, how they can help people to recover and stuff like that. Can you just talk to us about

SPEAKER_01: 30:41

that? So one of the side effects was I used to react so violently to one of the because I had one for six weeks which every three weeks so I would get better and then I'm like getting depressed towards the time when I'm about to go in because as soon as it's coming into my body I start throwing up violently and so I had to use steroids they had to give me steroids and that made me even I like I didn't like how I was looking I didn't like how I was feeling because I wanted to eat all the time so so it went to not feeling like eating I saw that danger there were people who actually had to be taken off this treatment because it was very intense to not so I was looking into it and then I realized I remembered about because to be honest my mom if you remember she's always had this planting things and all that and then I was told that my grandfather who was my mom's dad went into like knew about herbs and I was really interested in that from time but I never thought to help me or develop it but when first it started with the aloe vera because I just wanted something to mix with the shea butter and then I started looking I didn't want to use anything to me so I started looking at oranges to take away the shea butter smell then I started looking at oranges why is it that it smells different when it is you know then a friend said oh I have essential oils so I started thinking what does this do so from reading about it I found out that do you know oranges are herbs you could the oil in the skin you could drink it and you feel better so I started looking into things that will make you not lose your appetite and not lose the taste. That's another thing, yeah. All tastes win. My tongue was black. So I needed something to make me enjoy food. If I was going to eat, I might as well enjoy it. There was this day I just went out and bought biscuits and chocolates and everything because as I was eating, I was throwing up and doing the number two. Everything, it was really terrible. So I thought, okay, I'll look for the good side in it. It means I'm not going to add weight. So it means I get to eat ice cream and not worry about it. You know, the doctor laughed when she said there's this side effect though so I then read about the problems of sugar you know but it made me happy so I started looking at what was the natural thing and then I remembered with my dad then I said oh there's this fruit apparently it's called miracle fruit so that's what set it off and it's called agbanyu actually if you google agbanyu it's now called miracle berry it's a berry that you lick and everything you taste tastes nice one thing that takes it off is toothpaste. Okay. So that I was thinking, wow, this is something that in my child, no one sold it. Actually, fruit sellers had it beside them so that they could sell the oranges because you drank it and you were like, you

SPEAKER_00: 33:34

would have, yeah, they would give you, they would give you, yes. That's

SPEAKER_01: 33:38

fraud. No, please, it's not. You're happy. They're selling happiness. They sold all of this. No orange was sour. At first, I was like, no way it was this tiny fruit. you could be drinking lemons and it was not sour it was nice so i told my dad i need to get this thing and then my sister went to ilorin then i found how a lot of these things are going out extinct so i thought i wonder what else is out there that can help reading it i then saw that they had turned it in america into a tablet which would call it miracle berry one tablet was going for 50 dollars one tablet was going for 50 dollars so i looked at it and then i saw that actually could help with chemotherapy. So I said, dad, you have to bring this thing because it's helping. So they went, everybody go and search for Agbanyo for my daughter. She's going through chemotherapy. It helps. So yeah, that was, so that fruit made me start looking at, if there's one, there are many.

SPEAKER_00: 34:39

There must be other things.

SPEAKER_01: 34:40

There were many. And amazing thing that someone said, I started joining on Facebook, herbal people. I didn't just want to join like African people. I wanted to see what's going on in other cultures. Because what I noticed is It might just be there's a variety of something in every culture. I then said that because I'd been planting as well, I then found that because sometimes like my youngest sister would say, tell me the version of it that is in Nigeria. I don't want to start feeling bad. I can't find it, you know. And then I found that like basil, you know, there's ephiri. So I started finding, okay, the good things that are there, what's here? Everything is. that is in one place, has its own, it's somewhere. You just have to look. Or something that can substitute for it somewhere else. And that's how I went into herbs. And only for me to be told, oh, you're doing your grandfather's work. I was like, oh, okay, really? So my aunties had told me there was an exercise book. Then my other aunties, they were like, oh, then they started saying that I was interested. So people, when they know you're interested, people just send things and you have to do research because you need to remove the myth from reality. There's a lot of

SPEAKER_00: 35:45

myth. So what herbs have you... Apart from the one you've mentioned, what other herbs have you found? What other things?

SPEAKER_01: 35:51

Oh, Lord. Okay, so now I'm going to go into my... Never go into my... Because I say making notes and... Okay, so let's go into herbs. There's so many different things. So, okay, so there was one that I actually told one of the pharmacists. And because mine was an estrogen... that affect the cancer. So they were looking for estrogen. And I had gone through menopause a year before. So I was thinking how... Menopause is supposed to be that you have no estrogen. So what estrogen is feeding this cancer? What am I using? So the tablet, I used everything until when I started getting better. I had another, apparently, not apparently, I did have a recurrence, but I blanked it out. So I had a recurrence and then I had a full mastectomy. Okay. Yeah. And, oh, actually, before we go to herbs, I would like to say, because that's one of the things that women were looking at and there are options out there. I want to say, because people don't know, you think that Sometimes it's just, oh, you just have a mastectomy. Of course, people know that there are options as in maybe you have an implant. But there are so many options now. I'm sure even now, there's probably better than mine. There are options where you can have the implant of like, what's it called? The plastic that's very nice. I forgot what it's called. The one that people don't react to. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm trying to. Latex? You use it. Latex. Thank you. I just said that. Yes, yes. Random word. It's latex. So there's the latex on which you don't react to. And people were like, oh, but it would leak. You know, all those things. And people did that with. So there's latex. Then what people don't know is they can use your own. flesh so it's a reconstruction but the disadvantage well the downside is you have to make up your mind before not that you can't say okay I'm going to have an operation come back because they need the skin in there and they are excellent specialists so yeah I had that done people like four professionals and so yeah I have to I'm not one of those I can never look down on the NHS I'm sorry for that because I am so grateful for having all of that done and at the best top hospitals because during COVID you were in private hospitals and guess what with the private hospitals they didn't even have the specialists when there was a problem with mine They had to take me back to the general hospital, which was much better. So I would say, if you are in the UK, please take everything, the NHS. When it comes to specialist things, all the specialists are there because they train from there before they even go to their private hospitals. Do you see? So yeah, so that's one thing I don't want to leave aside because there are options and there are some that would make no difference. You know, you could do tattoos, you could put the nipple back. There's so many options that it shouldn't have to be that it's because that's that was my history which you probably know of my mom delaying thinking about oh but you know because the option you had was just to take away that was it and that's your womanhood it is important you know even hair was important but that was the list of my prop to be honest not really i'm not putting it down because I understand when it's a big issue with other women. Everybody has what it is, but it's just that I grow hair easily. So, and, and well, a friend said, you have a nice shape of head. So, so to be honest, I did wonder what it would look like with bald head. So I didn't even wear wigs or all those, but that option of, yeah, there is out there and ask, you have to ask. So yeah, before we go back to the herbs. Okay. So I'll go to the herbs. Yeah. So let's go to my notes. I've got notes here. Okay. So yeah, I had to start because my, my eldest sister, yeah, she was there like a mom because we lost our mom. My mom died at 56 from breast cancer. So things like that. I always feel, yeah, like, Okay, so here's the positive thing of me. I'm like, okay, fine, my mom died at 56, but what are we going to learn from that? I must not die at 56. It has to be that I have to learn from her. What did she do? What are the things that she did? What am I going to do more? So to me, as far as I'm concerned, my mom died so we don't have to die. You know, so that was it. And that thing was there to make us take it seriously. So which is why when the doctors were talking about that, it was nothing to me, to be honest. It was just... I was grateful for it because I had to face the fact that, look, if I'm going to go through chemo and all those things and take the risk, despite, you know, with COVID, all kinds of things started coming up on WhatsApp and things like that, how people did it and died and all those. So I always say, if you're in a country where there's a choice, please take all the medicines before you go to herbs. I take all the medicines. I don't want anyone saying, oh, Taya just did herbs. No, I did it as well as, and I made sure I was well first you know like what you said you don't like to take something new when it's in the night because if you react what do you do you have to take it gently so I did all the treatments and these herbs only happened like three years after of course the other ones like I started looking for what will not make me throw up but I took all the the steroids and all that it wasn't the best my skin wasn't the best but I was what do you say trying to wherever there was a gap that's where I filled in the herbs it was never don't take the tablets take herbs instead so no please do not do that and sometimes even take the herbs Because we're all different. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 41:49

And again, to add this, to chip this in, this is just your experience. It's different for everybody. Exactly. I'm not

SPEAKER_01: 41:55

medical. I'm not even a herbalist. Yeah. Well, you know, my grandfather was. I did study. Well, I did take courses in, you know, like, because, like I said, how it affects, because we were open to going to, like, is it Dr. Thompson, Thomas... He wrote a book about how to live well with cancer. So I started getting involved in functional medicine. I looked at most of the people that did podcasts about functional medicine. And I thought about what they were talking about, strawberries, things like that. So it's the things that you've been eating before. However, you're not eating it as food now. You're eating it as medicine. So there was actually a podcast called Food is Medicine. I followed all of it. And at the end of the day, I made my own notes, sat down, based on research and did what was worked for

SPEAKER_00: 42:45

me

SPEAKER_01: 42:45

so at the end of the day you can't say oh this worked for Tayo but one thing I would recommend for everybody is positivity yeah Positivity helps so much. Whatever, even if they call it delusion or denial, at that time you need it. You have to be positive. You have to look at the bright side. That is not the same as being in denial. It means, for example, they told me, oh, you've got breast cancer. Yeah, I've got breast cancer. Well, at least it's breast cancer. It can be cut off. It's not the one that can't be cut off in the neck. How do you deal with that? Do you see what, that's what I'm saying. Not that I say, Oh, in Jesus name, I don't have breast cancer. Cause I did have some people who would say, Oh, you come to my church and you can pray for you. And you pray it away. And I said, you know, you're committing suicide, you know, because you're making people not, you know, but there are some people who would say, what are you doing? Let's pray for you with what you're doing. That's yes. Because prayer and action works together that I followed but the one oh you can come to my church and there is this water or things like that no we're not doing that so yeah so what are the herbs let's see healing herbs let's see if I can just because I've done this over since 2019 now that's been how many years 2019 yeah yeah so healing herbs let's see healing let me get my selection of healing herbs Okay. I should have got this. I didn't know you were going to ask me some of these things. So health steps for life. Have a plant base. Yeah. So, okay. So, well, you'll be surprised. I'm going to say things like I've got coriander, parsley, basil, curry leaves, cumin and fennel. Fennel. Yeah. Now, people were like, like you asked me. What about bay leaves? Wait, let's get to bay leaves first. That's a different one. These ones are things that are used in cooking. Okay. Do you know you could just pour hot water and drink it as tea? Okay. Because tea is a herb. Yeah. So bay leaf started with my sister who had survived breast cancer saying, did you know that we can drink bay leaf and da, da, da, da, da. And we were sitting under a tree, which I just knew that once it was cut down, smelled nice. I did not know it was bay leaf. So these are where the spiritual comes in. And somebody had said, do you know that all of a sudden when the things that you need, the herbs that you need come to you? You know, this is the spiritual part. And I had a bay leaf tree in my house. And yeah, and it was one of the things. But I must say, We did it the way my sister had said it. I drank it. I was fine. I felt good. I felt... My husband took it and threw up. And so I read. I went and checked. Why is that happening? Apparently, bay leaf can take out some things, the toxins in you, and it can come out two ways. Well, we both know. Either the mouth or the other way. So, yeah. So that's how bay leaf started. And then I had a whole tree, which... We're there when we bought the house, but we used to cut it down. So I started with that. I started looking, okay, how can I help other people? You know, especially with COVID and all that. And then there was this other teacher. She has family from Ireland, British lady. Only two of us had not had COVID during COVID. We were teaching and going back. I was gradually going back into teaching. And what did we have together? in common bay leaves she had a bay leaf tree and she was drinking bay leaf I thought this thing must be doing something so I started researching in that so yeah

SPEAKER_00: 46:32

okay what else

SPEAKER_01: 46:33

yeah bay leaf nettle yes stinging nettle okay yes stinging nettle rosemary those things yes rosemary nice so all of them you drink as tea I drink them as tea now. Hibiscus? What about hibiscus? Oh, hibiscus. I can't do without hibiscus. Hibiscus was great for the skin. It reduces, you know, like I had some of the side effects was like you just get depressed. You wake up and then there's anxiety from depression and then pains in the bones because of the letrozole you have to use. It's taking away all the estrogen that you had in you. So gradually I started asking which one can I... So what had happened, because I want to be careful with this, with electrosol was when i had an operation because i had the reoccurrence and i had another operation so i had about three operations so towards one week before the doctor would say stop all your medications because of the entire action with the um why is it going away from my head the thing that you take for sleeping tell me what is you know like it puts you out yeah it puts you out so it could interact with and you couldn't mind not wake up so so that's what we believe as well so i stopped all those and then when i stopped the the tablets as well which i was taking i was supposed to be taking i found the pain had gone everything had gone but i was scared i just wanted something else so that's why i was using herbs so then she saw that i was looking good she said oh my skin's looking good why and the screen healed so well so that's when I actually was able to tell them about shea butter as well shea butter with aloe vera you know so Then I said, oh, I was drinking the tea and then I shared it because it's a long process. You all sit down like in a parlor and you're taking your treatment. So then I finished the chemo and the radiotherapy. I had, it's hormone therapy was called. So you go in and make a lot of friends. I made a lot of elderly friends because they're like, you're too young to be here. People are getting younger and younger, you know, because, yeah, because I was 49, you know. So, and these ladies were, because then they were told it's an old lady's illness, you know. So, he was like so i was dealing i was talking to i was making friends with people that were in the 80s we'll paint our nails because yeah it was black we just made ourselves happy so i shared the tea because they brought in ginger was one thing that would actually stop you know being nausea nausea so i said oh i would like it not in the biscuits so yeah we did make an impact because we were like we don't want people giving us biscuits and chocolates anymore please give us this tea so we brought it so i brought it and i gave it to them and said we want this tea and that was making everybody feel better and they're throwing up and all the pain so yeah hibiscus is a then I found that it was called surreal with other people and I could bring it and zobo in Nigeria oh man I shipped the whole bag yeah oh yes I shipped the whole sack and I had one that could help me for so then I thought okay I've got bay leaf I've got hibiscus how do you do that so I've got a tea which I call teas triple tea yeah I think you had that and I put so I had a combination of bay leaf hibiscus and I first because the first thing no it was lavender I got yeah so because I had it around me I used lavender first then I checked lavender makes you feel sleepy yeah so that's why we were really at ease but then you're going to work you don't want that you don't want so and I called it triple t so they had to be three things so I took the lavender out and then had rosemary then I found that rosemary was good for your brain it took out anxiety I was like these are all the things I need so I started growing them so most of the time the herbs I So that was the combination.

SPEAKER_00: 50:18

And I have had that tea. It's really nice. Triple tea or whatever it's called. It's really nice. I can recommend it for anyone. We're fast coming to the end of the show. I just wanted to refer to my notes because there was something you talked to me about, which I want you to... elaborate on. There's a group called the Reform Advisory Group. Can you talk to us about that a bit? I think it will help

SPEAKER_01: 50:44

people. So what had happened was that I started getting involved with getting to have friends with people who had had breast cancer. And so this lady who had had reoccurrence three times then got in touch with me that there was this forum that we were just going to ask. It had something to do with why black women especially seem to have breast cancer well okay the saying was that white women tended to have breast cancer more however when black women had breast cancer it was always aggressive you know and then it's equal there were times when between the time when they've done your treatment because obviously when you're on NHS between the time they've started your treatment to when you actually had the operation it had progressed and some of them had spread that was a long time before they got all the new tablets and all that that could hold it so they were trying to and then they found out that women were not really going for their mammogram you know and then we were talking so we had this talk and we were like well look at me I was called for mammogram at 50 so I'd already been diagnosed with breast cancer at 40, at 49, you know, 48, because actually I had not turned 49 because I was in January and my birthday was in May. So I remember it was, because you know, they write 48. So at 48, I'd already, and you're waiting to invite me at 50. So, what's happening so obviously i didn't go i just i was annoyed to be honest because i just like i remember when i was trying to get this and it wasn't done so that was so that reform was listening to women so we had a gathering of women who had had breast cancer and we had somebody as young as 28 wow yes she had had breast cancer she just had a baby and had breast cancer in the uk yeah so she got in touch with me and I was like oh how do you deal with your hair so we're talking about hair I was like please if you've got a nice shape of hair just shave it and just wear nice scarves and all and we were like tattooed the head and so that was it so I then called her so you know how women call each other and so that was it so we started with that and then this from that group saying about what our experiences were just trying to get to the minds of people of black women and we're like we need it to be less at least if you had it in the family we need it to be at 40 I think it's now 40 I'm not sure you're invited for a mammogram if you want a mammogram but before if you're not 50 you're not invited for a mammogram so we said about the being invited for a mammogram at 40 we need it to be recommended then what's causing it what are the so number one stress is in between so people need to know how to you know, like... Diffuse the stress. Prioritize life over stress because we thought, oh, it's part of life. It's not. And then I listened to a lot of things and said, lifestyle. This is why. So I said, stop looking at exercising because I must talk about this. Exercising, diet, watching. I don't want to call it dieting. Eating clean, like one of my friends would say. Eating clean. Clean eating is different for different people. So eat clean. And it impacts on how well you, one, you even get breast cancer. And also when you get it or if you get it, how well you recover. I think. So even though people say positivity, yeah, it helps with dancing, it helps. However, you need a drastic lifestyle change and one that works for you. No one can tell you how to do that because that definitely helped. I remember reading about exercise and there was a program that they did with people who, side effects, they were men actually that had prostate cancer. So I would walk to the hospital for one hour, one hour walk. And I realized that taking the... more and taking all of that I felt much better and they're like you're going to walk home yeah I took my step one at a time and walked home the only place obviously I couldn't drive to I couldn't walk to Cambridge so yeah so I drove so yeah so change lifestyle so we talked about that so this advisory group was taking notes and putting things that you know because they were pharmacists actually talking about why people aren't taking their letrozole so yeah by my fifth year I took the letrozole yeah by my yeah I then talked to my doctor about reducing because the pain was too much as a teacher you have to do different things I didn't want to even though I'd reduced my teaching at one part time and I just thought it was about time because my children were older so yeah with this reform group so that's what we are we're a set of people who sit down talk about it and then they invite other people so yeah and then we talked about the importance of talking about it

SPEAKER_00: 55:41

and that's one think that a lot of people, especially in our culture, we don't talk about what we're going through. And I just think that we need to keep talking and talking a lot more about things. Thank you so, so much, Tayo. Before we go, I always like to end my podcast on a note of hope. So before we go, what can you say to anybody out there who might be going through cancer or dealing with a family member who's probably going through cancer or something? What can you say to just encourage people out there? Behind

SPEAKER_01: 56:11

Every shadow, what causes it is the sunshine. Look for the sunshine. It's always there. Look for it. Focus on that bright side. Because what makes a bright side, that means there's a dark side. So yes, it's there. Don't deny the dark side. But please... Put your aim on the bright side and it will get you through. And read, read, read.

SPEAKER_00: 56:35

And you said something about some mantras. I don't want to forget that. You made some mantras. Just tell us some of those mantras. Oh my goodness. Some of the things you were saying to yourself.

SPEAKER_01: 56:44

Oh my goodness. I did. Tayo, remember, anytime you feel low, There's dance. Oh, I like that one. I like that one. Anytime you feel low, there's always dance. And there's another one. If you want to cry, cry. Cry really hard. And then you sleep. And sleep. So, yes.

SPEAKER_00: 57:08

Oh, thank you. Thank you so, so much. It's really been nice having you. We're probably going to have you back again sometime soon. Just to give us more information about all the herbs and all the things you've learned on the way I just want to ask one last question. What would you say that this experience of having cancer has taught you?

SPEAKER_01: 57:28

Yeah. When I went and then told them in church and they were like, oh, you know, it's, you know, like a disadvantage. I said, no. it was a wake-up call. It was a wake-up call for me to take my life more seriously. Yeah. And yeah, there was one I said, I said, Tayo, you might be too late to become a billionaire. My sister says I shouldn't say so. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not, to be honest, yeah, at 54, I don't, yeah, I'm not too, if I look back, that's not the side I'm, I'm not, I'm okay. I'm satisfied. I'm content. However, There's a waltz. wealth health is wealth said remember that that is your health you're not too late and never too late to get that kind of wealth that health so that I had to write it down because I even actually talked to myself in third person I was like tired I mentioned myself I said remember this and I read this once every month so I can remember because it's not easy people will say you know you put this or read it Berkeley read this like with the nice one I say oh it's not easy it's not supposed to be easy is it doable yes is it good yes is it adventurous yes so to be honest all of this I'm not saying everybody has to have breast cancer too but I think God just knew I needed a wake-up call because I have never I was really skinny I'd never ever thought I had to take care of my health so yeah sweets everything I was eating yeah and when things hit me hard life hits you I let it hit me so hard that it got depression and all that I think that's where it developed because apparently by the time you find a lump in your breast it's been there for five years

SPEAKER_00: 59:18

oh my

SPEAKER_01: 59:18

god yeah without so even that's if you can feel it that's why the mammogram feels it first so if they invite you for a mammogram if you think you need one fight for it get it done and to be honest yes some people are like I don't want to know if it's there it's curable the earlier the better you know and deal with resources that you can do but if you're in the UK yeah take advantage please don't go private if you've got the money yeah don't leave the NHS because it's a wealth of resource that's where the yeah so that's what I would say so for me it made me take my health seriously yeah we all sleep we all sleep and yeah and I think it has made me see other women who had those kind of like-mindedness of lifestyle I am so big on lifestyle now it's not about yeah lifestyle is so much and so big on distress Distress.

SPEAKER_00: 1:00:16

Don't let anything stress you. Just be happy, laugh and dance like Taya. Amen. Thank you so, so much, Taya. It's been really, really nice having you. My pleasure. Thank you so much. My pleasure. Oh, thank you everyone for listening to Navigating the Chapters of Challenge with Tele. We've had a really interesting and I hope a very insightful conversation with Taya today. And I hope that you all come back and listen to another podcast with us soon. Please, please, please subscribe to the podcast podcast on YouTube. We're on YouTube now. Send us your comments, your questions. If you, if you want to send us any questions, I'm sure I'll be happy to answer any questions and yeah, support the show in any way you can. That would really be appreciated. So thank you so much. And hopefully we'll see you sometime soon. Take care and God bless.