Faith Over Fear: Cherise Cheney's Journey through Breast Cancer

Join us for a deeply moving conversation with Cherise Cheney as she shares her courageous journey of surviving breast cancer amidst the challenges of a global pandemic. Cherise opens up about the emotional rollercoaster of receiving a cancer diagnosis during Covid-19, and her journey of finding peace and trusting  God throughout the process.

We delve into Cherise's experience of  not being anxious in the face of the diagnosis, and the invaluable support she received from her faith community and loved ones. Cherise offers insights into navigating the complexities of cancer treatment, finding strength in vulnerability, and embracing hope in the midst of uncertainty.

Whether you're facing a cancer diagnosis, seeking inspiration in times of adversity, or looking to deepen your faith amidst life's challenges, this episode offers powerful insights and encouragement. Subscribe now to gain perspective on overcoming obstacles with courage, faith, and resilience. 🌸🎙️ #BreastCancerSurvivor #FaithOverFear #CancerJourney 🌈

If you would like to speak with Cherise you can contact her here: cherisecheney@hotmail.co.uk

Please check out the song  not afraid by Jesus Culture here:
https://youtu.be/KIkSuarvyH8?si=-lokcr2CzGbK3p5-

Transcript

UNKNOWN 0:05

so

SPEAKER_02 0:29

Hello and welcome to Navigating the Chapters of Challenge with Telly. Today I've got my friend in the house, Cherise is in the house with us today and she's going to be discussing something that a lot of people out there sometimes face. But before we go into the topic of today, I'm going to ask Cherise to introduce herself and then we'll get to it. Okay, say hello to everyone Cherise.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

Hello everyone. As Telly said, my name is Cherise. I live in Swanley near to Telly and I've known Telly For a good few years now, we've sung together before. Yeah, I'm a worship leader from the Oak Community Church. Yeah. Just here today to talk about my journey.

SPEAKER_02 1:07

Yeah. And we're talking about breast cancer. And if there's anyone out there who's going through this season in their lives, if there's anyone out there who's been through it, we're just hoping that this show would be a blessing to you, to anybody who's listening and listening Yeah, we just trust in the Holy Spirit to really take over and just guide our conversation today. So I'm just going to go straight into it. I remember when I saw the post, your initial post, saying that you'd found a lump. I really didn't think much about it. I just thought, yeah, it's one of those things. It won't be anything. And I just kind of dismissed it. And then I think a few weeks later, you then put a post on there to say that it was cancer. And I remember that at that point, I didn't even know what to say. I had no idea how to respond to this news and what to say to you. But I was just thinking, when you heard that it was cancer, how did you react? What was your initial reaction?

SPEAKER_00 2:08

So initially, I didn't actually find a lump. It had inverted, but it was very hidden. The surgeon said I did well to find it because of the position of it. So we were in lockdown.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

So my husband was at home and I was like, can you see that? And he's like, yeah. So I went to see the doctor that day. They saw me straight away. And I think I knew right from that point that it was breast cancer. Possibly breast cancer. I thought to myself, maybe it's just, you know, some fatty tissue. Anyway, so he referred me for an emergency appointment. which was about two weeks after then. And when I had that done, they did the mammogram. They did an examination, could feel a lump as well as the indent. Okay. So they took me straight around for the mammogram, then straight over for a scan, an ultrasound scan. And it was a trainee. Okay. Okay. And I heard the lady training her saying, can you get them both on the screen at the same time? So I said, have you found something? And she said, yes, there's two. And I was like, tumours? And she said, we could call them that. They're just areas of concern. So she then took over

SPEAKER_01 3:37

and

SPEAKER_00 3:39

said, we need to do some biopsies. So I just looked straight at her and said, what do you think it is? Because she does that job every day. Every day, so she would know. And she said to me, I'm suspicious of them. So I... was laying on the bed thinking, oh, okay, I think I've got breast cancer. That night I went home after telling the family and I went to bed and I just felt God saying to me, it is cancer, but it's okay. I've got you. And honestly, I had this peace drop on me that was just the most beautiful. I didn't have any... Not one slight bit of anxiety about it at all. It was just the most beautiful feeling because I've had anxiety and depression in the past. And it should have floored me, but it just didn't. It was just, I keep saying it over and over again, it was the most beautiful feeling of peace that I've ever experienced. And I knew that God had me and I didn't need to fear. And I slept soundly that night and every night after that. Because I just knew that...

SPEAKER_02 4:50

That God had you. Yeah. He

SPEAKER_00 4:52

had me. He's had me all along.

SPEAKER_02 4:54

Yeah. So this was nothing new. This was nothing new to him. And this wasn't anything that would be difficult for him to handle.

SPEAKER_01 5:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

So how did the family respond when you told the family? Because I know God spoke to you, so you had that conviction that everything would be okay. But what about the family? How did your husband and...

SPEAKER_00 5:15

Yeah, I won't ever forget his face. Yeah. Because obviously... It was in lockdown so he wasn't allowed in. He was allowed into the main waiting room of the hospital and I had to pass him when I was on my way to the scan and said they found a lump and I won't ever forget his face just dropped. That was hard. Finding him crying one day because he said I just want to make it all better for you and I can't. I was like please don't cry because I've never to this day cried about it because I just... You just have peace, yeah. Even now I don't get anxious about having had it or is it going to come back.

SPEAKER_02 5:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

No.

SPEAKER_02 5:57

That's because you heard from God. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm sure the people out there who must have really, it would hit them really hard because that assurance that you had, they didn't have

SPEAKER_00 6:08

that assurance. No, I understand it isn't like that for everyone. Yeah. over Zoom about it because I needed to take some time out because I was having treatment. And my pastor said something very significant because some years ago, as you know, James, my son, was quite seriously ill and quite a few times we nearly lost him. And my pastor said it's like when David fought Goliath, he'd had previous battles with lions that he'd overcome. So he knew that

SPEAKER_02 6:47

he

SPEAKER_00 6:49

had the strength to overcome Goliath, even though in the face of it, it seemed an impossible fight, didn't it? Because, you know, the difference in the size and the strength of them both. But he knew he had that strength within him already. And I remember when James was ill the second time, it was three years before I was diagnosed with cancer. That really knocked me when he was ill. Because when it's your child...

SPEAKER_02 7:15

It's very difficult.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

It's so hard, isn't it? It's easy going through something yourself. But to watch him going through that, I got quite low. And then God just kept saying to me, just worship me. And at first of all, I was like, how can I? How can I worship you when everything seems like it's falling apart? But I was obedient and I did. And it completely changed my mindset. I was like... I used to think of worship as something like what I would get out of it, how God would make me feel. And you can't help but be blessed when you worship God because you're in his presence and you just automatically receive from him. But it became about, not about how I was going to feel, but about giving him the glory and worshipping him and just turning my worry into worship. And it completely changed my relationship with God. And I think... That was preparing me

SPEAKER_02 8:14

for

SPEAKER_00 8:14

what I was going to go through when I had breast cancer because I was in a totally different place with the Lord, completely in love with him. I fell in love with him all over again, I think, by worshipping him. It's a strange thing to say. No, it's not strange. You just get closer. Yeah, definitely. I think those battles that we went through with James... Yeah. Yeah. I didn't have to in the end, but we got through it. But you have to face those thoughts.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

How did James react when you told him? Because I know that you and James are very close. In fact, your family is very close. Yourself, James, and Michael are very close. So how did James react?

SPEAKER_00 9:32

He was great.

SPEAKER_02 9:34

He was great?

SPEAKER_00 9:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:35

Good.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

I think, obviously, it did affect him. Yeah. Sometimes now when I talk about it, it's like, oh, can we not talk about it? He's not the sort of person that likes to talk. Yeah. Whereas I find it healing to talk. To talk, yes.

SPEAKER_02 9:50

And I think that's what this, for me, this podcast is about. Because I think that talking does help heal people as well. It does, yeah. It does. I mean, revisiting, it may be a difficult situation, but revisiting it sometimes has helped to just release something from within you.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

But it's quite interesting because... are close family members now going through cancer and treatment and I've been going to the hospital with them once a week for the treatment and it's just been great to be able to say to him, I know exactly how you feel. James knows how his daughter feels because he saw his mum and Michael knows how Karen is because it's her husband. But I know what it feels like to be told... You've got cancer. And I know I handled it, well, God gave me that piece, but I still understand how frightening it is. It is, yeah. To be told that, because you just don't know what the outcome is. It's such a long process, the treatment, and it doesn't always... It doesn't always work. You don't always have the effect. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

So what treatment? So at that stage, what did they say you needed to do once it was confirmed? What did they say you needed to do?

SPEAKER_00 11:08

They just said within a month, I'd be taken in for surgery. So I had two tumours. Okay. So I had, they were removed. I had to go all the way to East Grinstead because I couldn't have it in Darroch Valley because of COVID. COVID, yeah. And you had

SPEAKER_02 11:25

to go all alone? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

that must have been hard even when they told me when they gave me the results wouldn't let Michael in and stopped him at the door and said we'll ring you later go through it with you all on the phone because I said I did say to him I know what you're going to tell me can he please come in but no he couldn't so that that must have been really hard that was the hardest bit out of all of it actually is going into all of the appointments all of the treatment for the operation completely on my own but I wasn't alone Yeah, God was with you. He totally was. He just sustained me through the whole thing. The hardest thing was that and watching my family members struggling with it. I remember the day I told my niece, she was with her partner, and he said to her, aren't you going to cry? And she said, no, she's being so strong about it. It's making me feel strong. My mum said the same thing. She said, if you hadn't handled it so well, then... It would have been

SPEAKER_02 12:26

difficult

SPEAKER_00 12:27

for the rest of them. I mean, obviously they were really upset. Yeah. No, I just felt like, what's the point of crumbling? I remember the day I found the indent and was waiting for the appointment with the doctor and I just went and sat in my garden because it was lovely and warm and I was just thinking, I really hope my anxiety doesn't spring up here because... It would be so much harder if I'm anxious. And I honestly didn't have one. I didn't even have that flutter of anxiety. You get that sort of feeling in your stomach. Not one flicker of it at all. It was amazing the way that God just said, I've got you. It's going to be okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

And the beauty of that is because you know how to hear from God. So you heard God clearly. Because if you didn't know how to hear from God, you probably wouldn't have heard him saying he's got you. And it would have been difficult for you to then go through the season, you know. So I think that's very key, knowing how you hear from God in these difficult situations, where to run to, you know, in these difficult situations. So when they did the surgery, what was the next thing they needed to do? Did they just take out the two?

SPEAKER_00 13:50

No, so they took out, two tumours and a lot of the surrounding tissue, and they reconstructed it. Because there was an indent, they had to fill that in. So I've basically had a reduction this side. Okay. And so they're very uneven. And they also took five lymph nodes, and there's cancer cells in one of them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:15

When you said they're both uneven, you had a bit of a funny... Look on your face, that's why I laughed. How did that make you feel? Because I know it affects self-esteem. How did that make you

SPEAKER_00 14:25

feel? I didn't know. They didn't tell me beforehand. They said we're going to do reconstruction. I didn't realise that it was going to be such a difference. But I didn't notice until I went to have some of the dressing removed and I noticed they'd taken... the nickel off and put it back on being quite frank with you and that made me feel a bit confused because I was like I said to Michael they've taken that off I didn't know they didn't tell me exactly what they were going to do and then I remember when I had that dressing removed, the Macmillan nurse said to me, do you want to have a look? And I was like,

SPEAKER_01 15:08

no,

SPEAKER_00 15:08

thank you. She said, any reason why? And I said, no, I just don't want to. At that moment, I didn't want to see it.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

But

SPEAKER_00 15:15

obviously, when I had all of the dressing removed, I said, can we have a look now? And she stood in front of the mirror and stood behind me. And I was just like, oh, it's quite different, isn't it? Because it wasn't my breast anymore. Yeah. You know you have to check your breasts and you get to know you're normal. That's not normal anymore. I don't know it. Yeah, I understand what you're trying to say. So that was a bit strange. But they offered to do the other side. Okay. But I've said no because... To do what to the other side? Reduce it. To be the same size? Yeah. What's the point of doing that? Well... I'm not going to go through more surgery and have more scars just so I look symmetrical. No. Far too old. And I remember saying to the Macmillan nurse, no, because I'm not bothered. My husband's not bothered. And she said, but it doesn't matter if he is because it's your body. And I said, no, I'm absolutely fine with it. It doesn't notice I can wear padding if I... Yeah, if you want to. But I don't. Yeah. Because... I'm actually quite proud of my scars. Yeah. Because... It reminds you of what God has... It reminds me of what I've been through and what God's done for you. Yeah, what God's done, yeah, exactly. Yeah. So I don't need to have my body made perfect. Yeah. No.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

Yeah, yeah. I... Because I know a lot of women find that really, really hard. Yeah. Really hard. And it does affect their mental well-being, their self-esteem. Sometimes they go into depression because of that kind of... So it's good to know that it didn't affect your mental well-being. You didn't

SPEAKER_00 16:56

feel... But I've had friends say to me, because I talk a lot about it with my friends, and they say, oh, I'd have to have it done. Yeah. And that's fine. Yeah. If you need to do that, they can... They can do that. Even if you have a full mastectomy, you can have implants to make it. But I just didn't feel that. I wanted to go down that route. But if you need to, absolutely do that.

SPEAKER_02 17:21

Do what works for you, really. Right

SPEAKER_00 17:23

from the start, they said, we can do the other side. So always explore every option that they give you. Think about it. Pray about it. Yeah. it might not be something you want to do. I remember the Macmillan nurse had actually had breast cancer herself and had had a double mastectomy and she had chosen not to have any reconstruction done. Okay. So it's completely a personal thing. A personal thing. I just didn't want any more surgery.

SPEAKER_02 17:51

I don't blame you. I don't blame you. Surgery can't be fun. I don't think it's fun to go for. Yeah, yeah. So how long did it take you to recover from the surgery?

SPEAKER_00 18:02

So I had the surgery in August and I had to wait until I was healed before I could have the radiotherapy and that was the end of October.

SPEAKER_02 18:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

And I just started feeling less sore.

SPEAKER_02 18:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:17

And then I had the radiotherapy which made me sore again.

SPEAKER_02 18:20

Okay. So can I stop you there before you go any further? What's the difference between, I don't really know much about this, but what's the difference between radiotherapy and chemotherapy? I really don't get the

SPEAKER_00 18:31

difference. They'd said to me all along that I would have radiotherapy. Okay. And I went for an appointment for what I thought was a fitting for prosthesis. And I walked in and she said, I'm the chemo nurse. And my face dropped because I was like, they haven't said I'm having chemo. They said radiotherapy. And she said, it's just an option.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

But it threw me completely because chemo is a lot more toxic than radiotherapy is. Okay. But it's a bit more effective.

SPEAKER_02 19:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:03

But she went through everything and she said I would have had six months intense chemo. And at the end of it, it would give me an extra 5% chance of survival after 15 years. And I just said, no, I don't want to have it. I'll take my chances and trust God rather than putting my body through that. Because chemo is brutal.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

Yeah. Yeah, because I remember when my brother, because I'm sure you know, when my brother passed from cancer and when he was going through chemo, I remember after every session he would be really sick, vomiting and all sorts of things and be out of it for days. So, yeah, I know they say it's brutal. Yeah. But I never knew what the difference between chemotherapy and

SPEAKER_00 19:58

radiotherapy. So chemotherapy is put directly into the vein. Yeah, okay. Radiotherapy is just a beam, like a laser beam, that kind of burns you. Okay. It gives you sunburn inside. Okay. Yeah. So for a year after having radiotherapy, you can't be in the sun.

SPEAKER_02 20:15

You can't be in the sun? No. What do you mean you can't be in the

SPEAKER_00 20:18

sun? You can't sit in the sun. Oh, sit in the sun. Because you've been burnt inside. Okay, so it would hurt. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:27

So that must have really hurt the patient. In the area where you had the surgery, it must have really, really hurt because there's not much flesh there anymore.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

Well, it did the first night. So go back again. Because we were in lockdown, I had to have 15 sessions, but it was done over five days. So I had three times the amount on the first session to limit your time in the hospital. And that was really... Three times the amount? Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. So that really was... Like itchy and burning the first night. And I said to Michael, I feel like I've gone back two months because it's hurting again. So I spoke to them the next day and they just said it's because of the amount you've had. Yeah. And then it was fine. Okay. They even said to me, we have women who've blistered and, you know, it's very red. I know the person I'm going to the hospital with at the moment is in the throat and their neck is so red. Red, yeah. And it just wasn't. And the only thing I can put it down to is God. Yeah, thank God. I did get tired. Yeah. And I still get tired now. Okay. Because of the medication I'm on.

SPEAKER_01 21:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

But God was so good because, again, with the medication I had to start taking, I was a bit worried because the side effects were quite horrible.

UNKNOWN 21:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

No.

SPEAKER_02 21:53

None for you? No. God is good. He is so good. God is so good.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

And I was just so thankful because I thought I was going to be in pain, you know, because it gives you joint pains. I do have joint pains now, but that's not because of that. Yeah. But I honestly remember saying to the oncologist, I don't want to start this treatment and be in pain every day. Yeah, yeah. And she said, my advice is always, when you start taking it, hang in there for three months because it does get better. But I didn't really have...

SPEAKER_02 22:30

Pain.

SPEAKER_00 22:31

No, and the radiotherapy was fine. I wasn't sick. I didn't lose my hair, you know. Yeah, because you

SPEAKER_02 22:38

have such lovely hair.

SPEAKER_00 22:40

Well, that's why I've grown it. Because I had to talk to Michael about, you know, if I have to have chemo and shave it afterwards. I recovered. I was like, I don't really want to cut my hair anymore. Yeah. Because I

SPEAKER_02 22:51

remember you went through a phase where you used to cut it.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

Yeah, I had

SPEAKER_02 22:55

it very short,

SPEAKER_00 22:55

didn't

SPEAKER_02 22:55

I? You had it very short. And then you had it long. Now it's like... Now it's really long now.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

And thick. Yeah. Yeah, so God was really good throughout the whole thing. And even like a small detail was Michael was on furlough because of lockdown with his job. And every month his boss would ring him and... say, you know, you've got another month off. Yeah. Until the last day of my treatment, so my final radiotherapy session was in the afternoon. His boss rang that morning and said, we've got clearance from head office for you to come back to work on Monday, full hours, full pay, on the last day of my treatment. Wow. So the whole time that I needed him... He was there...to take me to the hospital, because I've, you know, I've had quite a lot of pain... where they took the lymph nodes out, so driving was a bit difficult. He was there. I know he wasn't allowed in, but he took me to every single appointment, waited for me, took me home and was there. You know, he had to start cooking and cleaning and everything, and he just did an amazing job. But that, I just thought, that can only be God.

SPEAKER_02 24:06

That can only be God. God made it where he made it possible, you know, for...

SPEAKER_00 24:11

Yeah, because I think... You know, lockdown was hard for a lot of people, but I actually...

SPEAKER_02 24:16

Even without this kind of situation, so you can imagine putting this in the mix.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

But I actually quite enjoyed lockdown because I had Michael there. Yeah. Because if I'd been doing this, I wouldn't have been on my own because he would have been coming home from work, but to have him there every day throughout the whole journey was just lovely. Yeah. Because I wasn't on my own. Because I think sometimes you can sit at home, can't you, if you're on your own.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

And that's when your mind starts to play games on you and then all kinds of thoughts start going

SPEAKER_00 24:50

through your mind. To be able to talk to him about it, about how I was feeling, about how treatment was going, was just such a blessing. And then we just looked at each other when his boss rang. The actual last day, we got clearance for you to come back.

SPEAKER_02 25:07

That's just good. It is, yeah. We can't say anything else about that. Completely, yeah. That's just good. So did you have to change anything about your lifestyle after you got the, is it prognosis or whatever of cancer? Did you have to change your nutrition? Because I hear lots of people change their diet and stuff like that. Did you have to do anything like that?

SPEAKER_00 25:33

Not really, no. I never actually spoke to anyone who said anything. You should do this. I mean, I had to give up work, which was frustrating. But I tried to keep fit by doing line dancing, which I love doing. You're still doing it? Yes, still doing it. That's good. I go to two classes a week now. Oh, that's good. It's great fun. I could never do that. Oh, it's such a laugh. And again, I've made some really good friends there. And I try to, you know, none of them are Christians, but they know I am. Yeah. And I just try and be, you know, a light, really.

SPEAKER_02 26:11

Yeah, yeah. Because I was listening to some podcast about cancer and stuff like that, just preparing for this, and they were talking about moodiness, changing your diet and stuff like that. Did you ever find yourself moody at any point, no?

SPEAKER_01 26:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:31

You did? Yeah. Okay. Talk to us about that.

SPEAKER_00 26:34

Well, I've gone into my change as well since having breast cancer, so I think it's mainly to do with that. But no, it can... Make you moody. Yeah, I just felt less tolerant of things. I remember speaking to the oncologist and said, but I think that's the medication I'm on. She said, it could just be because you've been through something very traumatic. Yeah. And your tolerance levels just aren't what they were. Yeah. I think... It's a bit like... It makes you realise what's important. And when people have a drama about something insignificant, you just think... You don't know what you've got. No, and I just like... Not I can't be bothered with this, but it's just like, oh, there's far more important things to be dealing with. But then it's not trivial to them, is it? Because they're going through it, but it just... Makes you re-evaluate everything. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:38

So you said earlier on that you said to Michael, if you die, you know where you're going. Why did you think about that?

SPEAKER_00 27:47

Because when you hear the word cancer, you have to... It can kill you. It can. So I had to... I don't know why I said it. I just was trying to get over to people that I really wasn't afraid of. I wasn't fearful or anxious about it. And I do know where I'm going. I know that when I die, I'm going to be with the Lord. And that's where we're heading, isn't it? We're just passing through here. That's our destination with the Lord. And that's where I want to be. But not necessarily right now. Not right now. So I just wanted to say, you know, I guess I was trying... It sounds silly to say I was trying to make people feel better by talking about dying, but it was just... I don't know. I was just... I just wasn't scared and I wanted them to know that. I'm not afraid of what's going to happen to me. If this is what's going to happen, then I'm okay with it. I just didn't want everyone to be... worried about how I was feeling. I didn't want people to think that I was faking. I've always tried to be really strong about that. I was not putting on a front. I wasn't in denial. I knew that I had breast cancer and I knew what the outcome could be. But I knew what God had said to me and I trust him. So I just wanted them to realise that I'm not putting this on. This is not a mask. I am completely calm and at peace about it.

SPEAKER_02 29:32

So did you do something like do your life insurance and stuff like that? Did you do anything like that, write a will and stuff like that?

SPEAKER_00 29:40

No. No? Why not? No, because our life cover had expired. But when you've had a cancer diagnosis, you have to be five years free before you can... Do another insurance, because I can't do that yet.

SPEAKER_02 29:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

But no, I didn't...

SPEAKER_02 29:58

You didn't consider writing a will or anything?

SPEAKER_00 30:01

No, because God said it's going to be okay. Yeah. So that was...

SPEAKER_02 30:03

That was you standing in faith? Yeah. With God. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:09

I knew I wasn't going to die. Yeah. But before I had the official diagnosis, I had to consider that that might be the case. Until God said. Said, yeah. Until God... Yeah, until God. There's that phrase, isn't there? Yeah. But then God. But then God. Because I went to bed and I just heard him say, it is going to be cancer, but I've got you and it's going to be okay. I was like, okay. Yeah,

SPEAKER_01 30:36

yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:37

I trust him. He's never let me down before. And he wasn't

SPEAKER_02 30:41

about to let you down now.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

No. And all the battles that we'd been through health-wise with our son, that was another... feeling when um when he had his first surgery as you know 10 years old we he had to go in on the sunday but we went to church before we took him in and people like why are you here it was like we just need to be here and then we walked into the hospital and it was like a piece fell on us and the whole thing was just peaceful and life-changing for us all because it really made our faith step up a notch. And it was the reason that our son actually decided to follow the Lord because he just saw what God was doing for him. How you handled

SPEAKER_02 31:31

it, yeah. So since this situation that you've been through, how has it affected your outlook on life? Has it made you change anything else about your life? In terms of... Relating with friends and family, let's take it from that angle first, in terms of relating with friends and family, has that changed anything, your outlook?

SPEAKER_00 31:57

I don't know, really. I think, yeah, it makes you appreciate what you have. Yeah. And you need to tell yourself. your loved ones, that you love them.

SPEAKER_01 32:12

Yes,

SPEAKER_00 32:12

yes. You know, sometimes you feel it inside, don't you, and don't actually say it out, but you have to tell them. Yeah. Tell them while you can. While you can, yeah. That you love them, how important they are, how proud of them you are, because we don't know, do we?

SPEAKER_02 32:27

We don't know.

SPEAKER_00 32:28

And it was strange because watching my close family member going through it now... I remember people saying to me, oh, you're such a warrior, you're so brave. And I just think, I'm not. But seeing them go through it, I'm looking at it from the other side now. And I think, yeah, actually, you are a warrior. And I now understand what people were saying to me. But every time someone said to me, oh, you're dealing with it so well, you're being so brave. I'm like, I'm not. It's not me. You can't make yourself feel calm in the face of cancer. No. You just can't. No. But God can. But God can. And he did. He did. So I've said to everyone, whether they're Christian friends or non-Christian friends, it's not me that's dealing with it well. It's God. He's done that for me. My friend said to me at the beginning of the journey, she said, what scripture has God given you? And it was Jeremiah 29. I said, if I know the plans I have for you, praise the Lord. Yeah. That's to give you hope and a future. And a future,

SPEAKER_02 33:34

the expected end. Yeah. Yeah, because I was going to ask you, that was the question I was going to ask you next, about scriptures. What scriptures did you hold on to? So Jeremiah was one of them, 29, yeah? Yeah. Which other scriptures did

SPEAKER_00 33:47

you hold on to? In Psalms, he'll hide you under the shelter. Shelter of His Wings. Shadow

SPEAKER_02 33:56

of His Wings. I should have looked up. There's so many versions. Is that not Sam 91? Yes,

SPEAKER_00 34:07

I think it is actually. Sam 91, yeah. Because I remember I contacted a famous Christian artist who'd been through breast cancer. I think about 10 years ago, and she actually replied. Oh, really? Oh, okay. And that's the scripture she said that she held on to, and she shared it with me, and I was like, yeah, that's...

SPEAKER_02 34:24

Yeah, they're the dwelling secret place of the Most High. That's the one,

SPEAKER_00 34:27

isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 34:27

Yeah. Yeah, shall I abide under the shadow of the Almighty?

SPEAKER_00 34:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:30

Yeah, that's Psalm 91. And

SPEAKER_00 34:32

I remember our church did, well, the ladies in our church in lockdown did the song, This Is How I Fight My Battle. Yeah. So four of us sung it. all in our own homes, you know, and it was mixed. But then the ladies from the church read out scriptures. Yeah. And my goodness, I remember sitting there, it was so impactful because there's all these scriptures about he will hold you in his mighty arms. Oh, that was really...

SPEAKER_02 34:56

Yeah. And I think when you're going through stuff like that, hearing through the word things that keep you going is very, very important because those words just, you can keep... saying them to yourself over and over and over again. And that would really, yeah. So you love singing? Yeah. Were there any songs that helped you through as well? What songs were you listening to at that

SPEAKER_00 35:23

time? So there was one particular one. So my friend had gone through the same journey practically a year before I had. And it was a Jesus Culture song saying, I'm not afraid. Okay. Wow. Wow. I will not feel the flame. I'll stand before the giant, declaring victory. My God will make a way, so I am not afraid. And that was so perfect, because that's how I felt.

SPEAKER_02 36:15

That is perfect.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

That's a perfect song, yeah. Because I remember years ago, my pastor's mum, she was our pastor's wife at the time, and her son became pastor. She had breast cancer. And she was claimed... Claiming that scripture about when I walk through the fire, I will not be burned. When she went for radiotherapy and she had no burning at all.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

That's the power in the word, you know. That's the power in the word. When you have faith in what you're saying, you know. But

SPEAKER_00 36:48

that song in particular was the one that I was like, yeah, that's my song.

SPEAKER_02 36:52

I'm sure you played it over and over. It was on repeat.

SPEAKER_00 36:56

We're still singing it at church now because I'm like, this

SPEAKER_02 36:59

is it. But you know, that song is useful for any situation, not necessarily just for... what you went through is useful for any situation. Yeah, my God will make a way. Yeah. Who is it by? I don't particularly know. Jesus Culture. Jesus Culture, okay. I'm going to look for that one. I'll send it to you. Okay, all right. Yeah, I'd like to listen to it because I think it's good for people to hear. And I'll probably put a link to it as well in this podcast so that people who want it can then go back and then

SPEAKER_00 37:26

listen to it as well. Because I don't think it's one that's done very much around the churches, but it was... It was one that our church had started doing because I'm a big fan of Jesus culture. So, yeah, we did that one and it just struck me a year later. I was like, wow. Yeah,

SPEAKER_02 37:44

that was what you needed to hear at that time. I don't know where the time goes, but we're fast coming to the end of it. The time does go very fast. So before we go, can you just share some tips with people? If there's anybody going through this kind of situation, What kind of things should they be doing? Just tips and just some words of hope for people because I like for us to always end this on

SPEAKER_00 38:09

a... Someone who's been diagnosed. Someone

SPEAKER_02 38:11

who's been diagnosed and people who are caring for someone who's been diagnosed and just what you can say to encourage people.

SPEAKER_00 38:18

So I was listening to your podcast with Pastor Ben yesterday and he said something that's quite significant. It's like there isn't anything practical... that can be done when someone's going through a hard time. Yeah. Just sit with them. Yeah. Just be with them. Yeah. You know, there's nothing I can say to the person in my family that will make the journey and the treatment any easier, but I can be there.

SPEAKER_01 38:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:47

And sometimes that's all you need to do is just sit and hold their hand. Don't necessarily have to say anything. You know, every time he finishes another week, I'm like, come on. Just do a high five. That's another week done. Just be there. Yeah. And if you are going through it, just breathe. Take some deep breaths. There's something about taking a deep breath and holding it for five and then exhaling. It just... Calms you down. I think it does something for your blood pressure, I believe. Yes, yes. Cold water on the face does the same thing. It just brings your blood pressure. Just don't panic. Mm-hmm. Don't panic because, you know, God's faithful. He's not going to let us down. I'm not being in denial that people do panic and get anxious about it. And I could quite easily have. But I just, I still think that turning my worry into worship for those three years beforehand. Helped you, prepared you. Yeah, it was a big tool in actually making me feel like it's okay. It's going to be okay. Even if it's not. It's still okay. It's still okay, yeah. Because God is God. Yeah. And he's not going to let me down. Yeah. And actually, we're just passing through, aren't we?

SPEAKER_02 40:13

Yeah, we're just passing through. And what you just said now just struck a chord with me because... I remember when my mom passed recently and I was like, I've been praying for her to be healed. And I was so sure she was going to be healed. But she passed. And I thought to myself, it's not okay, but it's okay. Because I know where she is. Because she had faith herself and she believed that he was going to heal her. But in a way, looking at it now, He healed her in his own way.

SPEAKER_00 40:49

Yeah, the ultimate healing, isn't it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:52

He healed her in his own way. So, like you said, it may not feel like it's okay, but it is okay.

SPEAKER_00 40:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:59

But I think something else that Ben said on his podcast was sometimes God doesn't give you physical healing, but that peace is a healing. It is a healing. It is. Yes. I can't stress how... Beautiful, a feeling that was. Because I remember my son saying to me, weren't you afraid of catching COVID? Because he, you know, was.

SPEAKER_01 41:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:22

And I was like, no, because I had cancer. So it kind of...

SPEAKER_02 41:28

COVID was just nothing compared to that.

SPEAKER_00 41:30

But within that cancer diagnosis, I experienced a pace I've never experienced before. And I can remember one time having... Prior to the surgery I had to have a radioactive injection in the breast and I was sitting on the bed singing, it is well with my soul, because that's just how I felt. You know, when peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, God has taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul. And that's how I felt. It's well. God said it is.

SPEAKER_01 42:13

So

SPEAKER_00 42:16

just trust God. If you're going through it, trust God because he's faithful and he's so good. Mm-hmm. He really is. And

SPEAKER_02 42:25

he'll

SPEAKER_00 42:25

see you through. Yeah, he's not going to let you down.

SPEAKER_02 42:27

Yeah. He's never let us down before. He's not about to do so

SPEAKER_00 42:30

now. No, but reach out to people as well if you're going through it. Yeah. Don't struggle alone.

SPEAKER_01 42:36

It's

SPEAKER_00 42:37

really good to, there's something quite healing in talking about it with people. And there are a lot of, like the Macmillan are brilliant. because you can ring them up for any advice, financial advice, or if you just want to talk to someone. If you're supporting someone through cancer, you can access the Macmillan helpline, and they're just wonderful. They really are a very good charity. Don't suffer in silence. Talk to someone. Just reach out to people. But more importantly, reach out to God. He's not going to let you down.

SPEAKER_02 43:10

Because sometimes, again, in the Christian community, we kind of feel like, I'm a Christian. I've been a Christian all my life. How could this happen? But there are people who've gone through it and who have survived it. So reach out to such people and talk to them. Would you be open to people reaching out to you? If there's anybody who wants to talk about this, maybe they don't have somebody... to talk to about it and they'd like to talk to you because you've been through it. Would you be open to doing that? Yeah, definitely. Okay, how would they reach you? Do you have like an email or something they could email you? Yeah. Okay, what's the email? So,

SPEAKER_00 43:49

it's quite long-winded. Do you want to link it in the...

SPEAKER_02 43:51

Yeah, I'll probably

SPEAKER_00 43:52

link it, okay. But it's sharicecheeney at hotmail.co.uk Okay.

SPEAKER_02 43:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 43:58

And it's quite a long.

SPEAKER_02 43:59

It's quite a long. Okay. Yeah. No worries. I will link it. I'll link that and the song also in the notes for the podcast. So that if anybody wants to reach out to you, she's very lovely and she'll probably sing to you as well.

SPEAKER_00 44:13

Given half the chance.

SPEAKER_02 44:15

Oh, thank you so much, Charisse. It's been so nice having you on the show today.

SPEAKER_00 44:21

Yeah, it's been fine by, quickly. Yeah,

SPEAKER_02 44:22

the time just goes quickly. Thank you very, very much. I really appreciate your time. Thank you so, so much. God bless you. Thank you. Oh, the time goes so quickly. But thank you all for listening. And I hope that you've been blessed by this. And yeah, hopefully we'll see you on another podcast. Take care and God bless.

SPEAKER_01 44:59

Bye.